Visions and Nightmares
by film princess
Summary: Sequel to Sanity. After Dean's electroshock, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.
1. Where's Dad?

Sequel to _Sanity. _Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

You asked for it, so here it is! The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

As Sam drove down the lonely highway in the early hours of morning, he glanced over at his sleeping brother and smiled. He finally knew some of what was on his brother's mind. This was the first night in a long time that Dean slept peacefully, not plagued by nightmares. He had never seen his brother so relaxed and docile.

The more he thought of sleep, the more exhausted Sam grew. He yawned and blinked hard, trying to keep his eyes open and focused. He soon could no longer ignore his fatigue and knew he had to pull over or risk damaging his brother's baby. He drove into the nearest crappy motel he could find and parked.

Sam debated with himself on whether he should wake Dean or just let him sleep, but he decided his brother would be more comfortable on a mattress rather than bunched against the passenger window.

Reluctantly, he reached over and shook Dean. At first, Dean didn't respond, but after calling his name a few times and shaking him a little harder, Dean groaned softly and cracked his eyes open.

"Hey, man. How're you feeling?" Sam asked him gently, knowing his muscles must still ache like hell.

"Ugh… like I have the biggest hangover in the world. Why didn't you cut me off?"

Completely bewildered by this question, Sam cocked his head sideways and gave his brother a questioning look. "Huh?"

Speaking slowly to annoy Sam and spell it out for him, Dean asked, "Why… did… you… let… me… drink… so… damn… much? My head feels like it's going to fall off."

"Dean, you haven't had a drink in a week or so. Don't you remember what happened this afternoon?" Sam was trying really hard not to panic at Dean's blank look.

Dean thought hard. "Dude, last thing I remember is that phone call from Meg… Sam! She's got Dad!! We have to go get him back!" Dean's panic and rage spurred him into action and he threw the Impala's door open and went to climb out, but his protesting muscles and Sam's firm grip on his arm stopped him.

Feeling the pain of his muscles shoot through his body, then feeling Sam's grip, Dean cried out and toppled back into the car. "Aaaahhh!! Dude?! What the hell?!" He turned a questioning glare at Sammy.

Sam forced himself past the initial shock of Dean's outburst and memory loss and tried to calm his brother down before he hurt himself… again.

"Dean! Wait!! Man, that phone call was months ago."

"What? Sammy, stop foolin' around, Dad needs us!" Dean turned towards his open door again.

Tightening his grip on Dean's arm to keep him from trying to leave again, Sam reached his other arm up and placed the back of his hand against his brother's forehead. Dean balked.

"Dude, what the hell?!" Dean swatted Sam's hand away, but not before Sam felt the slight fever emanating from his brother.

"Dean, you don't remember the accident, or fixing up the Impala…"

Dean quickly interrupted. "Whoa! Wait!! What did you do to my baby?! What accident? Sam, you're not makin' any sense."

"Any idea who Ellen and Jo are?"

Taking a guess, Dean said, "Hot chicks we met at a bar? I don't freakin' know, Sam. Why?"

Sam could only imagine what Ellen would do to Dean if she heard him call her a "hot chick."

"Okay, Dean. Can you just wait here while I get us a room? We can talk inside."

"Are you sure Dad isn't in trouble? Do we have time to sit around in a motel full of ants?"

"Yeah, Dean. Trust me, Dad doesn't need our help. Now just sit tight till I get back."

"Fine."

"Alright. Don't move, promise?"

"Yeah, Sam! Christ, I'm not a kid ya know."

"That's debatable," Sam mumbled under his breath, earning a glare from Dean. "I'll be right back."

Sam did his best to keep himself from running into the motel, screaming at the poor girl working behind the counter to hurry the hell up and give him a key, then running back out to his thoroughly confused and disoriented brother.

What the hell happened? He was fine when he was eating his well-earned cheeseburger and fries. Sam hoped this was just a passing side-effect brought on by the drugs or the electro-shock his brother had suffered through, and that Dean would recover him memory soon before he had to inform him that their father was in fact dead.

Once Sam had the key in his hand and arrived back at the car, he drove around the corner of the building to park in front of their room. Sam jumped out of the car and went around to Dean's side to help him to the room, but Dean shoved Sam's helping hands away determined to make the short trip on his own.

Sam shook his head at his brother's stubbornness and grabbed their bags out of the car. Once they were inside, Sam quickly set about laying down salt lines in front of the door and windows. When Dean tried to help and swayed dangerously, Sam advised him against it.

"Sit down before you fall down, dude." Dean nodded and sat on his bed massaging his aching temples.

When Sam felt they were sufficiently protected from any Supernatural threats, he turned concerned eyes on his brother who seemed lost in a world of his own. Sam walked over to Dean and crouched down in front of him. Dean didn't even acknowledge his presence.

"Dean? You alright, man?" When Sam still didn't get a response, he carefully laid a hand on Dean's knee. Dean jumped, quickly coming out of his stupor. After a few seconds, Dean's eyes focused on his brother.

"Sorry, Sammy. Did you say somethin'?"

"I just asked if you were okay," Sam asked again, his concern growing.

"Yeah, dude. Just confused I guess. What the hell happened to my, Sammy? Why can't I remember anything? Where are we?"

"We just passed the Kansas border."

"Where are we headed?"

"No where in particular just yet. We were just trying to get as far away from Utah as possible."

"Why? What happened in Utah? Where's Dad? Did Meg get away again?"

"One question at a time, dude. Utah is a long, very unpleasant story as is Dad's whereabouts, and no, Meg did not get away. We exorcised her. At Bobby's place."

"Exorcised her? You mean she was an innocent girl possessed?"

"Yeah, man. Bobby figured it out."

"Course he did. The dude has probably read every freakin' book ever written about this stuff. I swear half the ones at his house he stole outta libraries…"

"Dean…" Sam knew he had to tread carefully with his line of questioning. "Do you remember Dr. Heinz at all?"

"Heinz? Like the ketchup?"

"Yeah. You met him two days ago."

"I did? Why? Were we interviewing him? Was he a suspect in a case we were working in Utah?"

"No, Dean. He's a therapist. He and I were trying to help you cope with some stuff you were carrying around but the whole thing backfired."

"Help me? With what, Sammy? I don't have a therapist and I sure as hell don't need one! What the hell do you mean by backfired? What is going on, Sam?!" Dean's breathing began to increase with his panic. Sam spoke up quickly to try to sooth him.

"I know your confused, Dean, but you've gotta calm down, okay? Deep breaths..."

Dean cocked his head sideways in thought at Sam's words. Suddenly his mind was assaulted by images that played in quick succession sending painful waves of fire through his skull.

"Argh!!!" Dean yelled, gripping his head between his hands and squeezing his eyes shut. He saw himself strapped to a table with a man in a white lab coat standing over him and attaching electrodes to his temples. He saw a young, somewhat beautiful nurse removing his belt, then the image jumped and she was standing next to his head, rubbing soothing circles on his chest. He heard her say _Shhh… just relax. Deep breaths. It's really not that bad._

Dean gasped as the images faded and his brother's worried face came back into view.

"Dean? You with me?"

"Sammy? God… it hurts…!" Dean's breathing continued to increase in speed, trying to fend off the unwanted migraine.

"Dean! What? What hurts?! Come on, man. You've gotta relax or you're going to hyperventilate!"

Again, Dean's mind was assailed by images. Dean cried out again as the pain followed, but tried to process the images as they came. The same doctor flicked on an ECT machine near Dean's bed, then he turned to the pretty nurse shouting _Calm him down, nurse, or he is going to hyperventilate! _Dean saw the man's eyes glow yellow before he heard him say _Just relax, son. Take a deep breath and try to hold still…_Dean's body was suddenly hit with unimaginable pain and he crumpled into his terrified brother's arms.

"DEAN!!"

TBC

Please respond and let me know if you have any ideas or just to tell me whether you like it so far or not!!! Thanks!!


	2. Visions

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

Sam caught his brother as Dean's legs gave out. Wishing now that he hadn't gotten his brother the extra large fries, he slowly began hauling his muscularly-heavy brother towards the nearest bed.

As gently as he could, he laid his brother on top of it and placed his head on the least stained pillow. "Dean? Hey, can you hear me, bro?" Sam's attempts went unnoticed as his brother's unconscious form refused to respond. "Damn it."

Just before Sam was about to go for his cell, he saw a small trickle of blood oozing out from his brother's nose. "Shit! Dean! Wake up!!" Sam ran to the Impala's trunk to get their extensive first aid kit, then ran back to his brother's side pulling out a gauze pad to stem the flow.

He pulled his brother into a sitting position and forced his head forward to lay on his shoulder, trying to keep the blood from flowing down the back of Dean's throat and into his stomach. He kept one hand on the gauze, and used the other to grip the back of Dean's neck to keep him from falling backwards.

Sam laid his cheek against the side of Dean's head needing the intimate contact. He could still feel the increased heat from his brother's body. A few tears leaked from Sam's eyes as the fear for his brother consumed him. "Dean, please wake up. I need you to be okay," he whispered in his brother's ear.

Once the bleeding seemed to have stopped, Sam gently laid his brother back down and pulled his cell out of his pocket. He needed help and he knew it. When opening up his contacts list, the first name he came across was Bobby. Bobby knew basically everything Sam did, so he wouldn't have to fill him in much, just update him on the current situation.

Sam hit send and waited for Bobby to pick up.

"Yeah?"

"Bobby? Hey, it's Sam again. Something's wrong with Dean. He fell asleep in the car and when I woke him up, he had no memory of the past month or so. I think he just had a vision or something like I do sometimes and he's running a fever. I just got his nose to stop bleeding and a few minutes ago he had intense pain in his head and then he fell unconscious. Bobby, I can't get him to wake up. I don't know what to do!"

Bobby listened intently to Sam's story without interruption trying to formulate a plan of action. When Sam finished talking, Bobby jumped in. "Sam, I know your worried about your brother but you've got to hold it together, alright? Now I'm gonna come to you and we'll figure out the next step. How far did you boys make it?"

"Uhh… we're just inside the Kansas border. A place called Ulysses right off of 160."

"Right. How're Dean's vitals? Do you think he'll be alright till I get there, or should you get him to a hospital? The boy went through hell just a few hours ago after all."

Sam leaned over his brother and checked his pulse, his heart beat, and his breathing all of which seemed strong and reasonably average. He lifted Dean's eyelids and was thoroughly relieved to find that they had not rolled up inside his head when he passed out. His pupils seemed slightly larger than they should have been, but they were equally sized to each other so he wasn't too concerned about a concussion.

"I think he'll be okay till you get here. I'm guessing it'll take you a few hours?"

"I'll be there just as the sun starts to rise. Why don't you try to get some sleep, Sam, and I'll wake you up when I'm close."

"Yeah, I'll try," Sam lied, knowing perfectly well he wouldn't be leaving Dean's side or closing his eyes any longer than it took to blink in case something happened and his vitals began to drop.

"Liar. Oh, and Sam?"

"Yeah, Bobby?"

"Did you say Dean was having visions?"

"I think so. I might have said something or did something to trigger a memory that he lost. He just looked at me blankly, then grabbed his head saying it hurt. He had his eyes shut, but through the lids it looked to me as though they were darting back and forth like they were watching something. I don't know what else it could have been."

"Huh… well I'm sorry to say this, but visions are out of my league, Sam. I can help you get some of his memory back from when you boys were staying with me at the garage and what I know from when he was in the institution… and I can help you with his health. But I don't know a damn thing when it comes to the brain."

"That's okay, Bobby. I have someone in mind that might be willing to help us out in that area."

"Alright. You boys be careful, and call me if anything else happens."

"I will. Thanks again, Bobby."

Both men hung up and Sam stared at his phone, debating his next phone call. His brother would probably kill him if he knew what Sam was about to do, but Sam was willing to take that risk. After all, his brother would need to be awake to kick his ass, and that was all Sam wanted right now.

Sam flipped his phone back open and scrolled down till he found the name he was looking for and hit send once again. It barely rang once when a familiar female voice responded.

"I was wondering when you were going to hit that button, Sam. How's that brother of yours doing, hunny?"

Sam almost laughed at how much she already seemed to know.

"Missouri? Sorry to bother you this early in the morning, but Dean and I need your help."

"I know that, baby, and no need for apologies. I was already awake. Just let me know what I can do for you."

"I was wondering if we could drop by later on today and if you could do what you do best. You know, try to see inside Dean's head or something to see if his memories are still there or if there is permanent damage…" Sam trailed off knowing what he was asking sounded completely ridiculous. Missouri wasn't a doctor. What could she possibly do to help?

"I'll do what I can, Sam. You just bring him by and I'll try to connect with him. But about these memory spurts of his… you've got to be careful not to jog too many memories at once or his brain is gonna go into memory overload, understand? Break him in slowly. He's not used to what we do, Sam. His body isn't made for it. I'm guessing the electro-shock the poor boy went through awakened that part of his brain, but erased his most recent memories. Just be careful. The mind is a very fragile thing."

"I'll be careful, I promise. Thanks Missouri. Bobby will be meeting up with us in a few hours, and we're just a few miles out."

"I'll see you when you get here, Sam. Take care, child."

Sam hung up and glanced at his brother, half expecting a furious glare to be sent his way but Dean still lay unmoving. It wasn't that Dean had anything against the woman, just that after Sam's most recent betrayal of allowing people to force themselves into Dean's mind, doing it to him again when he can't protect himself won't go over very well.

Plus there was the small fact that Dean couldn't get away with anything around Missouri. She always knew what he was thinking before he even realized he was thinking it. Dean will more than likely see this trip to Missouri's as another invasion of his private thoughts, but, Sam reasoned, if he didn't remember the first time Sam had betrayed him… what harm could it do?

Sam sat against the headboard of his brother's bed and prepared himself for a long night until Bobby arrived and relieved him of his watch.

TBC

Yes, Ulysses, Kansas does exist, no I've never been there, and no I don't want anyone to be mad I used it! I just did a quick search and looked for a town near the Kansas border. Other than that, it's all made up and as always let me know what you think so I can update faster for you!!


	3. Rising Fever and Tension

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

True to his word, just as the sun was rising Bobby was knocking on the boys' motel door. Sam jumped because the long hours of silence and no sleep had been pulling him into a stupor.

Sam glanced at his brother to make sure he was still there and breathing, then got off the bed and crossed the room to answer the door. Being the cautious son his father brought him up to be, he checked through the peep hole first.

When he saw Bobby he threw open the door and pulled his friend into a quick embrace. "Thanks for coming for us again. I really appreciate it, Bobby."

"Don't ever tell your brother, but I see the two of you as my own sons. Have since you were both knee-high to a grasshopper. Nothin' could keep me away if you boys needed anything."

"That means a lot, man. And don't worry, I won't tell Dean." Sam smirked and Bobby winked at him and patted him on the back before entering the room and walking over to where Dean lay.

"Has he woken up at all yet?"

"He hasn't so much as blinked. I don't know what to do, Bobby."

Bobby reached out a hand and felt Dean's forehead. "Christ! He's burnin' up, Sam."

"Yeah, he felt warm in the car too. I think he's gotten a lot worse though."

"We've gotta cool him down, now! I'm going ta fill up some buckets of ice and run him a cold bath. I need you to cut away his shirts and jeans. Think you can do that?"

"He won't appreciate that very much. That's his favorite shirt."

"Was, Sam. Now get a move on before he gets any worse!"

Bobby grabbed the ice bucket and ran outside to the ice machine to fill it. Sam sighed in resignation then pulled his brother's boots and socks off. "Sorry, Dean," he whispered, knowing Dean would definitely kick his ass now.

He pulled the small pair of sheers out of their first aid kit and carefully cutting away his brother's shirt. When he reached his jeans, he paused feeling slightly awkward. Bobby ran past him and dumped the ice in the tub and turned the water on cold. On his way back to the door, he shouted, "Hurry up, Sam! We don't have all day ya know!"

That spurred Sam back into action and he ignored the churning in his stomach and focused on helping Dean. As he began cutting up the side of his right pant leg, he heard a soft moan escape his brother's lips. Sam paused again to look at his brother's face.

"Dean?" He tried tentatively. He received no response. Dean was sweating profusely and his head began tossing and turning on the pillow.

"Hang in there, bro. Almost done."

Sam cut up the side of his left pant leg and slid them off his brother. Now clad only in boxers, Sam could actually see the red tint of his brother's skin. It looked as though his body was actually on fire.

Bobby ran past again with a full bucket of ice and shut off the water once the tub was ¾ full. He entered the bedroom area and froze only for a second at the sight of Dean's slightly red-hued skin. "Come on, Sam… grab his legs." Bobby slid his arms under Dean's and hoisted him into a slouched sitting position against Bobby's own body. Together, they lifted him and carried him to the bath.

They gently lowered him down and as soon as he was halfway submerged in the icy water, Dean's eyes sprang open in shock and confusion. "Jesus Christ! That's goddamned cold!! What the hell are you doing?!"

Dean tried to escape the icy waters, but Sam and Bobby held him down. "Just relax, son. We had to bring your body temp back down. You were burnin' up somethin' terrible."

Dean began to shiver and wrapped his arms around his now bare chest. "Where are my clothes?"

"I had to have Sam cut them off, Dean," Bobby explained in a tone that clearly stated _we had no other choice so deal with it or else_.

"Man…" Dean whined. "That was my favorite shirt." Bobby shook his head in slight amusement then shot a look at Sam, daring him to say I told you so.

"How're you feelin' kiddo? Besides cold…"

"Ugh… freakin' cold? I'm to numb to feel anything else, Bobby. Can I get out now?"

Bobby reached out a hand and slapped it to Dean's forehead, wrapping his other hand around Dean's neck to keep him still when he tried to wriggle away. He then pulled Dean's arms away from his chest and saw that the fire red color had already started to turn to a light blue, as did Dean's shivering lips.

Dean's cheeks turned a slight shade of pink when he realized how exposed he felt with his little brother sitting on the floor behind him keeping a restraining hand on Dean's shoulder, and Bobby staring intently at his chest.

"Uhhh… guys? Is this ridiculously awkward to anyone else, or just me?"

At that both Sam and Bobby had the decency to look a bit more ill at ease with their current predicament. Bobby broke the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"Dean, I think you'll be okay now. You can dry off and get some warm clothes on."

"Thank you," Dean responded, then glared pointedly at the other two men in the room clearly telling them to give him some privacy. Bobby nodded and pulled Sam from the room.

Finally speaking up, Sam called back to his brother, "I'll bring you some dry clothes."

"Thanks, Sammy."

Bobby added, "We won't go far, so just yell if you need help with anything."

"Won't do," came the expected reply.

After Sam delivered his frozen brother some new clothes, he turned to Bobby with a perplexed expression. "What the hell just happened? What's causing his fever? Do you think he's got his memory back? Why wouldn't he wake up before?"

"Slow down, Sammy," Bobby interrupted the youngest Winchester's ramblings. "I don't have any answers for you yet, but I'm working on it. Just bear with me, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Sorry, I'm just really worried about him."

"Don't be, Sammy. I'm fine." Dean came walking out of the bathroom fully dressed again with only a few occasional shivers racing up his spine. Sam noticed he was walking almost like an old man.

"Yeah, Dean. You look it," Sam responded sarcastically.

"My muscles are still a little tense, that's all Sammy. Stop bein' such a girl."

Ignoring the barb thrown his way, Sam decided to try to get some answers from his brother. "Dean, what happened before you passed out? Do you remember?"

Dean tried to think back as he tenderly sat on his bed and climbed beneath the warm covers. "Umm… I don't really know. I saw things… but I can't really explain them. I feel like I've seen them before, but I don't remember like they were just dreams or something. I was in a few I think, and this dude in a white lab coat… and this kinda hot chick who took my…" Dean trailed off as he glanced over at the cut up remnants of his jeans and noticed his belt was not there. "Dude, where's my belt?"

Sam glanced over and realized for the first time that Dean went in the institution with a belt but didn't leave with one. "Huh…" Sam thought out loud. "I guess they must have taken it for your safety."

"Whoa, you're saying that shit I saw really happened? Are you tryin' to tell me that that dude with the ECT thing was that ketchup therapist?"

"Yeah, Dean. Everything you saw was real. But Bobby and I weren't there, so we can't help you remember any of it, not that you'd want to. I had visions of him shocking you and that he became possessed by the demon, but that's all I know."

"Crap," Dean sighed trying to process all this info. He wiped a trembling hand down his face then let it fall to his lap. He stared at it, appearing to be contemplating something.

"Dean? You okay? Do you remember anything else from the last month?" Sam asked, prodding gently.

Dean looked up at him dejectedly. "No, Sam. I wish I did, but I don't. I need you to fill me in, man."

"I will, Dean. But not right now. You need rest and we need to get you to Missouri's place in a few hours."

"Missouri's? Why? That woman hates my guts," Dean protested.

"No she doesn't, Dean. She's just as worried about you as we are. No stop whining and get some sleep. Dean's eyelids began to droop against his will. He curled up on his side and fell back to sleep looking like an innocent little boy who didn't feel too well.

Bobby smiled softly as this thought occurred to him and gently reached out and brushed his fingers through Dean's short cropped hair. After a few seconds, Dean's breathing evened out and Bobby and Sam felt themselves starting to relax again. Maybe this was just a fluke and Dean would be fine after all…

Who did they think they were kidding?

TBC

You know what to do! Let me know what you think!!!


	4. Went to Missouri for Answers

Sequel to _Sanity. _Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

As Bobby kept an eye on Dean, checking his vitals every hour on the hour, Sam got some shut eye in. At first he had refused the idea, but Bobby convinced him, saying he was no good to his brother dead on his feet.

After that initial peak, Dean's fever seemed to dissipate much to Bobby's relief. He wasn't sure his old heart could take that sort of tension again.

At about ten in the morning, Bobby woke the Winchester boys and after checking Dean's vitals one more time while he was awake, they loaded up the cars and followed each other all the way to Missouri's house. She was sitting on the front stairs waiting for them.

While Sam approached her, Bobby carried the bags and Dean lagged behind at the car postponing interacting with Missouri until he absolutely had to. When Sam turned and realized this, he rolled his eyes at his brother then turned back to find Missouri with arms spread walking towards him waiting for a hug.

"Sam… You look good considering everything, hunny. Why don't you drag your brother up into my house and I'll fix you all a bite to eat. I can tell Dean's scared of what I'll see in his mind, but let him know I won't go looking for anythin' until he's good and ready, alright?"

"Thanks, Missouri. You're a lifesaver."

"Nonsense boy, I only do what I can. Now hurry up before that brother of yours hotwires that car of his and drives off."

Sam chuckled getting the feeling that that was exactly what his brother was thinking right then. Moving quickly to waylay his brother's plans, he took Dean's sleeve and dragged him into the kitchen. Neither of them had eaten since that burger stand just outside of Utah.

The four of them shared a silent, awkward meal because everyone was concerned about Dean and he wasn't used to all the attention. No one wanted to say anything that might trigger a memory and cause him pain, and no one really wanted him to remember how his father died. Sam especially wasn't looking forward to watching his brother go through all that pain again.

After about a half hour of this, Dean couldn't take it anymore so he excused himself and went down the hall to the room he and Sam would be sharing during their stay. Sam stared at his retreating back until he lost sight of his brother. Concern was evident on his face.

Missouri could tell he wanted to go see if his brother was alright, but felt rude leaving the table. She shook her head wondering how a son of John's could possibly be so polite. _You raised them right, John_ she thought to herself.

"Boy are you just gonna sit there takin' up space or are you gonna go make sure that brother of yours is alright?" Sam jumped as Missouri's voice cut through the silence that had fallen once again after Dean had left, then shot her a grateful smile and jogged down the hall after Dean.

Back in the kitchen, Bobby and Missouri shared worried glances.

"Did ja get any vibes off 'em?" Bobby asked wanted to know what they were up against.

"I promised them I wouldn't delve into Dean's mind until he was ready for the intrusion. That poor boy is so afraid to share his feelings with the world. He keeps everything bottled in that head of his, and if he doesn't let someone help him, he's going to explode. I did get the sense that he is eager to remember what he's forgotten, but at the same time he's afraid, no doubt from the way we've been walkin' on eggshells around him this whole time. Probably knows it can't be good."

"He always was good at reading people and situations. I just hope the pain doesn't hit as hard as it did the first time through. I don't think the Impala can take another beatin'. And I pray to God he doesn't remember the deal his daddy made and the guilt he's felt ever since. He never deserved that."

"Oh, Bobby. I swear John Winchester rarely thinks before he acts. His boys aren't stupid. He must have known they'd figure out what he did. Damn him for putting so much weight on his eldest's shoulders."

"John and I didn't always agree, Missouri, but I don't think he had much of a choice on that one. John and Sam never could get along, and it was Dean who raised Sam into the man he is now while John was off hunting. He knew if it was a choice between himself or his son, he'd do right by both his kids. Sammy needs Dean, and Dean needs Sam. Take them away from each other and the Winchesters will crumble."

Sam tentatively knocked on their bedroom door, waiting to see if his brother was up for company or not. He listened close and heard his brother's _Yeah?_ muffled through the wood of the door. He pushed the door open to find Dean sitting on his bed with his head in his hands.

"Hey, man. You alright?"

"I'm fine, Sam. It was just getting a little tense out there."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"It's like they think I'm gonna break or somethin'. And I know you're all keeping somethin' from me."

Sam looked at him, completely startled. "What are you talking about, Dean?"

"You tell me, dude. What? Is there something you don't want me to remember? Somethin' bad happen? I'm guessing it's about dad cause you still haven't told me where he is."

"Dean, listen man. You're not ready for all this yet. Last time you got hit with a few memories you practically went comatose. Just trust me on this one and give it time, okay?"

"I can't do that, Sam. This not knowing… it's driving me insane. It's like I have this huge hole where I used to have a life. I need those memories back before I can feel whole again."

"Did you ever think you might have blocked them out on purpose, Dean?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Dean glared suspiciously at Sam.

"Nothing! Just, I know you went through one hell of an ordeal at that hospital, but you seemed alright afterwards. It was only after you got some rest you forgot the past month. Maybe it wasn't the shock therapy that made you forget."

"Damn it, Sam. If I had forgotten on purpose, I would have remembered when I decided I needed to know. And what the hell could be so bad that I would intentionally block it out? I need your help, Sammy. I need you to tell me everything."

"Dean, I can't do that. It's too risky. You went through hell and back, man, and you piled everything on your own shoulders refusing to share the load with anyone. I think your mind is trying to tell you enough is enough. It's giving you a second chance to tackle things, one at a time instead of all at once like you did before."

"I don't care, Sam. If I could handle it before, I'm sure I could handle it again now. What I can't handle is not bein' able to remember anything! I could really use your help, Sam, but if you don't want to help me, I can jog my memory in other ways without you. So are you going to help me or not?"

"Of course I want to help you! But we just have to take it slow!"

"I get the feeling we don't have time for the snail pace, Sam!"

"What are you talking about?"

Dean hesitated for a second, debating on whether to tell Sam about his gut feeling that something bad was going to happen soon, and he could only get answers by regaining what he had forgotten. However, Dean decided Sam had enough to worry about right now without dwelling on Dean's gut feelings.

"Nothin', dude. I just… I can't keep going on with this huge hole in my life."

Sam could tell his memory loss was wearing him down. He looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, even though he had been practically unconscious for the past six hours. On top of his game, Dean could spring back with only two to four hours of rest without a problem. But Dean wasn't at the top of his game. Not even close.

Realizing the room had been silent since his last statement, Dean couldn't handle the awkwardness of being in Missouri's home any longer.

"I've gotta get out of here for a few hours, Sam. I need some fresh air."

Dean stood and made for the bedroom door. As he passed Sam, Sam grabbed his arm stopping him dead in his tracks.

"Where are you going, Dean?"

"Out."

"I'm coming with you."

"No, you're not. I need time alone right now. I promise I won't do anything stupid. I just… I just need some space to sort things out, okay? Now let me go."

Sam frowned at his brother, his worry for him increasing by the minute.

"Call me if you need anything, alright?"

"Yeah, Sammy. Catch you later."

Dean strode through the door, passed Bobby and Missouri who still occupied the table, and out into the sunlight towards his car. Bobby and Missouri exchanged confused looks and made to follow him.

Sam walked into the kitchen. "Leave him, he needs some time alone." Feeling alone and frustrated, Sam returned to their room and closed the door behind him.

"Well… shit," Bobby stated looking between the front door where Dean had left and Sam and Dean's bedroom door that now hid the youngest Winchester from sight. Missouri simply sighed.

TBC

I'm glad you guys like it so far! Thanks to everyone who has responded to both of my stories, you all rule! Keep em coming!!! Drunk Dean up ahead as well as a new player for the dark side. Enticing?


	5. Sarine

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

The yellow eyed demon sat in a bar across from a very pretty blond with hazel eyes. To any non-suspecting passerby, they appeared to be an unlikely duo out for a beer and to talk business. He leaned across the table towards her.

"Sarine, I need a little favor."

"Name it, hot shot. I believe I owe you after you took out that last hunter that tried to destroy the last of us sirens."

"In approximately half an hour, a young, rather handsome man will enter this bar and I need you to use your wonderful powers of persuasion to lure him into the back alley and brand him for me."

"That is quite the request. Tell me, what do you have against this poor unsuspecting soul?"

"He killed my children, is keeping me from getting to my new recruit, and I just don't like him. He is exactly like his father was."

"And might I know this mysterious boy's name?"

"Dean. Dean Winchester."

Dean drove around his old town aimlessly for a while but soon found himself parked across from his old home. He stared through the window at it, willing himself to remember something, anything. The first thoughts that flowed through his mind as his gaze traveled over each window were of his dad, the yellow eyed demon, and pain.

Suddenly, that internal pain progressed to a fierce external one as his head pounded with the onslaught of the new vision. He was in some cabin that he didn't recognize with his father and brother. Relief flowed through Dean's pain as he realized that they must have saved him from Meg after all.

Dean had the colt and the lights started to flicker. His dad warned Sam to check the salt lines again, and then asked Dean for the gun. Even now, he could tell something was drastically wrong as he watched his father turn to him and hold out his hand in waiting.

In his mind, Dean was screaming _no no no no… _He heard himself say _you're not him_, then he raised the colt to his father's chest. Dean fought desperately against the vision, trying to will himself out of it. He wasn't sure he could take it if he watched himself kill his own father. His struggles were to no avail.

His dad lifted his head and his eyes glowed yellow. Dean slammed his fist against the windshield in frustration and pain. He watched as both he and Sam were thrown into walls and then listened to the demon ridicule Dean about masking all that nasty pain behind his humor, and telling him that his family didn't need him. With each line the demon spit out in his face, Dean felt a knife piercing that much further into his already delicate heart.

He watched his own father, or rather, his possessed father, torture him. He saw the blood. He saw Sammy break free and grab the colt. He watched his little brother shoot his dad in the leg, and he heard his own desperate pleas as he begged Sam not to shoot their father. Then next thing he knew, the three of them were driving down the highway, battered but alive, when they were plowed into by the Semi.

Dean came out of the vision screaming. Only then did he notice the tears streaking his face and the trickle of blood dripping from his nose. He grabbed a few McDonald's napkins from his glove compartment and angrily wiped it all away.

After hearing and seeing what had gone down, Dean was in desperate need of a drink. He threw the Impala into gear and tore off away from his childhood home to a bar a few streets down that would be his new home for the next few hours or so.

Dean strode into the building and sat himself at the bar, completely oblivious to the fact that he was being watched.

Rapping his knuckles on the counter, he called the bartender over. "Hey, man. Give me a whiskey, will ya?"

"Mister, it's only three in the afternoon!" Jeff, the bartender, gave Dean a sympathetic look, probably thinking Dean had just gotten dumped or some other such nonsense that most of his patrons went through.

"Well it's five o'clock somewhere, Barkeep. And I sure as hell can't wait for it here."

"Listen, this isn't the way to deal with shit. Just go talk to her. Judging by your looks, I'm sure she'd take you back."

Dean looked baffled and embarrassed as he tried to figure out what the bartender was talking about. "Excuse me?"

"I said drinking isn't the answer. Whatever is weighing you down, this won't solve it."

"Oh, spare me. Just give me the damn drink, okay?"

"You're the boss…" Jeff trailed off knowing a lost cause when he sees one.

Five shots later and Dean was approached by a beautiful blond with hazel eyes. She made as if she were ordering another drink, but gently brushed her arm up against Dean's who spilled half of his sixth shot down his front.

"Oh my God, I'm sooo sorry!" she exclaimed as she grabbed some napkins from the counter and began drying him off. Feeling very uncomfortable having this girl invade his space, Dean grabbed her wrists and pulled away.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Please, at least let me buy you a new one?"

"Seriously. It's okay. I should probably cut myself off anyway." He glanced at his watch and realized he had been brooding there for just about five hours. _Sammy is going to kill me._ He turned away from her and paid his bill with a very nice tip, which he knew would mean another night of hustling pool to replace what he spent.

He turned towards the door when she quickly reached out and grabbed his arm. "Dean!"

He spun back to face her, confusion and a slight hint of trepidation crossed his face, because even though he was reasonably drunk, he knew for a fact he never introduced himself to her. When his gaze locked with hers, he found he no longer cared whether he knew her or not. He wanted to. In fact, he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of hers.

"Come with me, Dean." He heard her voice almost as though he were trapped in a dream. _Well this is trippy…_ he thought as she grabbed his hand and led him into the back alley. Once outside, his hunter instincts kicked in and he knew something was very wrong. He tried to fight the trance she had on him, but she refused to release him.

"Shh… take it easy, Dean. Don't fight me."

She pushed him up against the wall into shadows so that people passing by the alley would not see them. As the back door of the fish market next door opened revealing a middle aged man carrying out the trash, she threw her body against Dean's, kissing him hard on the lips so he couldn't call for help and she could avoid suspicion.

The man glanced at the two apparent love birds and shook his head in disapproval as he made his way back into the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

She smiled against Dean's lips, then slowly pulled back. "I wish I could keep you. You're a great kisser, and you weren't even trying. But I owe someone a favor." She stroked her hand down the side of his face, down his neck, and under his jacket. Carefully she slid it off his shoulders and let it fall to the ground.

"What the hell are you doing?" Dean asked still trying to fight her and trying not to panic.

"Keeping my end of the deal. Don't worry, it won't hurt too much… I don't think," she seemed to ponder her answer for a few seconds then shrugged. "Guess we'll just have to find out, won't we?"

Sam paced around their room occasionally checking his watch. _Where the hell is he? I'm sooo gonna kick his ass when he gets back here._ Finally giving up on waiting for his brother to show up of his own accord, he decided he'd go out and drag him back if he had to.

As he reached for the doorknob, the door burst open and a rattled Missouri came tearing in. "Sam, it's your brother. Something is very wrong, I can feel it. I think he's in trouble."

"Shit!" Sam fumed. Why didn't he go looking for him sooner? Now his brother could have been attacked by something or someone. He could be hurt! "Any idea where I could find him?" he asked Missouri desperately.

"I think you already know the answer to that question, Sam." She gave him a knowing look.

Sam thought. Where would his brother go? He's in pain, he's confused, he's scared… the bar. Christ. He was probably wasted by now. Even though it wasn't a large town, there were plenty of bars that Dean could have gone to. Who's to say he didn't go outside of Lawrence to get that drink?

"Bobby is already in his truck waiting for you. He'll search in one direction and you can cover the other. I'll stay here in case he manages to stumble home on his own."

"Thanks, Missouri."

"Just find your brother, Sam. He needs you."

The siren slowly unbuttoned Dean's over shirt.

Dean protested. "Look, lady. Whoever you are, believe me, it wouldn't work between us."

She placed one hand over his mouth effectively silencing him again and used her other hand to remove his over shirt. She could see his muscles protruding through his shirt and she licked her lips while hunger filled her eyes.

"Not good…" Dean mumbled against her palm.

Bobby and Sam tore out of the driveway in opposite directions, both looking for bars that might be housing Dean. Since Dean left Sam the Impala, they would have to check inside at each place, rather than scouting for the car in the parking lots. That would eat up lots of time that Sam had a strong feeling they didn't have.

Smiling evilly at him, she ran her right hand under his T-shirt, then raked her nails down his chest enough to leave a red mark, but not enough to bleed. Dean winced and glared at her. "Oh, baby. I wish you were enjoying this as much as I am," she purred into his ear. Dean turned his head away, disgusted. "Now for the really fun part…" Dean cocked an eyebrow at her, wonder what else she had planned, when the hand on his chest began to glow even through his shirt. He glanced down as it turned from a bright yellow to a fire red.

And then it began to burn. Dean writhed trying to get her hand away from him as he felt his chest was on fire. She clamped her other hand down more fiercely over his mouth to muffle his cries of pain. "Shhhh… easy baby… almost done," she whispered as she ran her tongue up the right side of his face.

The light from her hand disappeared and the burning slowly began to fade. His head tipped forward to lie on his chest as his body went limp. She gently released him from the wall and lowered him to the ground. Then she ran her fingers through his hair as though he was her own child. "You are going to have one helluva hangover in the morning, babe." She laughed evilly, patted him on the chest, then rose and left him lying in the alley.

Sam was getting very frustrated and every bar he left with no sign of Dean heightened his fear. _Where are you, man?_ As if in answer to his question, his cell phone began to ring.

"Hello, Dean?"

"Umm… hey, this is Jeff. I work at a bar called The Phoenix. This number was the first speed dial number programmed, so I figured you might be a friend of his." Before Sam could answer, he heard his brother's drunk drawl from the other end of the line. _Sammy's my brother. He's my brother. Best brother a guy could have…I think he shot my dad, though…_

Jeff continued. "Okay… your brother here seems to have drank a little past his limit. I found him in the alleyway outside the bar unconscious. I got him to wake up, but he's a little too out of it to make it far on his own."

"Thank you so much for the call, man. I'll be there in a few minutes to pick him up."

"Alright, I'll keep an eye on him till you get here."

Fuming that his brother seemed to be in one piece after all, Sam reminded himself what Dean was going through and to cut him some slack. He called Bobby and informed him that he found Dean and that the two of them would meet him back at Missouri's place in about half an hour. Then he gunned his engine and sped off towards his drunken brother.

TBC

Sorry, didn't fit much drunken Dean in this chapter after all, but there will be more in the next chapter which I will post ASAP!!


	6. What the Hell Just Happened?

Sequel to _Sanity. _Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

Sam pulled up right outside of the back alleyway. His headlights lit the whole thing up, revealing Dean who had yet to move from the ground, and Jeff crouching over him. Sam ran over to find out what was going on.

Dean squinted away from the blinding light of the headlights that pierced through his already aching head. He saw a shadowlike figure emerging from the light and suddenly found he couldn't look away.

Sam moved out from in front of the light beams so he could see his brother better, then crouched down next to him. Dean drunkenly crooked his head to follow this ethereal being. "Dean? You alright, man?" Sam noticed that someone, probably Jeff, had wrapped his over shirt and coat around his shoulders to keep him warm from the increasingly cooling night air.

"Smammy?" Dean slurred. "I thought you were an angel. Always said you looked like a girl…"

"Wow..." was all Sam could say, his eyebrows rising to his hair line. He turned to the man who had called him. "Jeff, I presume?"

"Yeah. You must be Sam."

Dean broke in yet again. "Don't call him Sammy though. He'll bite your head off..." He made vicious biting motions to demonstrate his theory. "S'not pretty…"

Sam looked almost amazed at his brother, then back up to Jeff. "How much did he drink, exactly?"

"Umm… if I remember correctly I think he had about six shots of whiskey."

"That's it? Weird. It's just, my brother can really hold his liquor. He shouldn't be this drunk after only six shots. He used to drink people under the table for money."

"Well I don't know what to tell you. Do you need help getting him into the car?"

"Naw, I think I got him. Thanks for all your help."

"No problem. I've gotta get back to work before my customers stone me." As Jeff headed back into the bar, Sam sighed in resignation then grabbed a hold of his brother's arm.

"Come on, Dean. Up you go…" He continued to tug and pull until he had his brother as upright as he was going to get, then slung Dean's arm across his shoulders to support his weight. "God, Dean. You've really gotta lose some weight if your gonna keep having me carry your stubborn ass around."

"Yeah, well you're tall, so there!" Dean slurred back.

"Good one. Can you help me out a little here, dude?" Dean tried to keep his feet underneath him, but he couldn't control them.

"Hmm… nope!" He smiled his patented Dean smirk at Sam who could smell the alcohol on Dean's breath due to their close proximity.

"Jesus, Dean." Sam turned his head away from his brother who giggled to himself. That's right… giggled. Talk about trashed…

Sam managed to get Dean over to the passenger side and placed his hand on Dean's head to make sure he didn't crack it on the car's roof as he pushed him inside. Dean collapsed onto the seat, still giggling to himself.

"Show me th' way to go to _someone's_ hommmeeeee cause I don' have one… I'm tired and I wanna freakin' pass out. I had a lil' drink about an hour ago, and it went riiiggghhhhtttt to my… nothin' that rhymes with out, so head… which kills!"

Sam rolled his eyes. It was bad enough he had to deal with his brother being drunk, but now he was singing, not to mention adding a few lines of his own, the song from Jaws. This was going to be a long night…

"What were you thinkin', man? How could you go and do this to yourself? You could have been attacked with your guard down and no backup. And what the hell were you doing out in the back alley?" Sam berated.

Dean giggled again. "She made me follow her. She was hoootttttttt…"

"Christ. Please tell me you didn't have sex with so stranger in the back alley, dude. That is so not sanitary!!"

"I'm no' tha' sthupid, Sammy. I don' really member wha' happened… I think she liked me though." Dean smirked at Sam again, then laid his head against the cool window and he began attempting to hum Metallica.

_Something is so very wrong _kept playing through Sam's head as he drove the rest of the way to Missouri's in a thoughtful silence.

When they arrived, Bobby came jogging out to check on Dean, and together he and Sam carried the very groggy Dean into the house. Missouri was instantly in his face and Dean would have taken a few steps back if he wasn't being held in place and his legs were cooperating.

"What were you thinkin' boy?! Go to your room right now and sleep it off! I have half a mind to smack you with a spoon right now!"

Dean giggled once again. "Haha… she said spoooooonnnnn…"

Missouri gave a confused look at Sam asking for an explanation. Sam just shrugged and resituated Dean's left arm across his shoulders because Dean was starting to slide towards the floor. Bobby also increased his grip but made sure he was no where near Dean's still healing wrists where the restraints had bruised and cut into his flesh back at the asylum.

Having his body forced into a more upright position, Dean's head lolled on his shoulders and he let out a tremendous belch.

Sam wrinkled his nose and turned his head away. "Jesus, Dean… did you really have to do that now?"

Bobby shook his head. "You certainly learned that from your daddy. Christ, Dean… did you drink the whole bar?"

Sam spoke up. "He only had six shots of whiskey, Bobby."

"Six? That's it? That boy used to out drink me before he was even legal! Thank god your father never figured that one out…"

Dean mumbled something, but no one seemed to have caught the words. Sam prodded his brother to speak up. "What was that, Dean?"

"Lucky number six," he whispered back as his eyes started to droop.

"Dean, you hate the number six. It always leads to trouble for us."

"Always…" Dean trailed off and slumped all his weight onto the two men acting as his crutches.

Missouri cut in. "Bring him to bed boys, then if you're not too tired, meet me in the kitchen. I have some things I want to discuss with the both of you concerning Dean."

They carried Dean to bed as she had asked and Sam removed the jacket and over shirt from his shoulders, and then his boots. Dean's only response to the manhandling was a small groan as his body went from vertical to horizontal, making his head spin.

Once he was tucked in and resting peacefully, Sam and Bobby headed back towards the kitchen.

"So, Missouri. What's happening to my brother?"

"I'm not positive, Sam. If you would like me to sit with him while he is sleeping and see if I can coax some answers from his mind I will, but I doubt your brother would appreciate it very much. Though, I think he may be out of it for some time and wouldn't know the difference."

"I'd appreciate any insight we could get. The whole ride home, I had this feeling that something was wrong, like I did that time at our old house."

"Baby, you've got great instincts and you need to start trusting them. If you think something is wrong, then we've gotta look into it as soon as possible."

"Oh, and I think he might have had a vision while he was out. I heard him say something about me shooting dad, which I'm guessing was that time in the cabin where my dad was possessed and I had to shoot him in the leg. That was one of the memories he was missing before. I knew I should have gone with him!" Sam exclaimed, mad at himself for leaving his brother unprotected.

"Sam, you know your brother better than anyone. If he didn't want you to follow him, there was nothing you could have done about it, sweetie," Missouri consoled.

"Yeah, I know… I just wish none of this had ever happened. Dean doesn't deserve any of it."

"Son, Dean's a strong kid, always has been. He'll pull through. You've both just gotta hang in there," Bobby added.

Sam gave Bobby a grateful smile.

"Right then, Bobby why don't you go catch some shut eye. You look dead on your feet. Sam, you and I will go check on your brother, and see if his defenses are down a little."

Bobby nodded and headed to his room. He hadn't slept since Sam had called him the night before. Sam and Missouri headed quietly to Dean's room. Sam sat on the bed near Dean's feet who didn't even stir at the added pressure on the bed. That in itself worried Sam because normally Dean would be holding the knife he kept under his pillow against Sam's throat. He was a bit jumpy at night.

While Dean was out of it, he was hit with a very strange yet very real dream. He was surrounded by the color red, but saw nothing else. As he began walking on a ground he couldn't see, he found his way blocked by the demon.

He jumped back a few steps as his heart constricted painfully. "Jesus! Give a guy a warning before you go springin' up like that!"

"Hey there, Deano. Miss me?"

"Like a bad toothache," Dean ground out passed his clenched lips.

"Hate to be buzz kill, son, but what can I say? I missed our nice little chat sessions."

"How are you doin' this? Is this a dream?" Dean's eyes flickered over his surroundings for an exit and finding none.

"In a matter of speaking. You are asleep, but that is the only way I can reach you as of now. You know damn well that damn psychic's house has every protecting in the book on it. It'll take a while, but I'll find a way in, don't you worry. In the mean time, thanks to my old friend Sarine, I can visit you in your dreams."

"Who the hell is Sarine?"

"You don't remember her? Strange… most people find her hard to forget. Blonde hair, hazel eyes…"

So… what? You've recruited all the dark side to conspire against me? How Darth Vader of you."

"Oh Dean, I barely had to even ask. Everyone you and your family sent to hell over the years are very willing to make you all pay for what you did. I think this way will prove to be the most fun for me though."

"You son-of-a-bitch… What did you do to me?!"

"She branded you for me, Dean. You belong to me, and I can do as I please with you without interference from your brother or the other two nuisances."

Dean placed his hand against his chest, remembering the pain he felt when Sarine laid her palm over his heart. "Get rid of it you sick freak!" Dean yelled advancing on the demon.

"Now why would I go through all the trouble of asking her for a favor, just so I could remove it at our first meeting? That doesn't seem very plausible to me. I have attempted this with five other subjects, and none of them were successes. I am pleased to say you are lucky number six! I know you probably don't remember now, but when you were touch and go a few minutes ago, I came to you and told you you were lucky number six. But Sarine's spell is a strong one. Makes you seem completely drunk. But look what I can do now…"

He held his hand up to Dean's chest height and pain exploded through his chest and continued to flow through his entire body. Dean collapsed to his knees, trying hard not to cry out and give the demon the satisfaction.

Missouri pulled a chair up close to Dean's head and sat down quietly, ready to begin the intrusion. Before she had the chance to start however, Dean began to toss around lightly, then his movements became more erratic. Sweat began to form all over his body and his face was a mixture of terror, hate, and pain.

Alarmed, Sam turned to Missouri. "What are you doing to him?" he asked protectively.

"Nothing! I swear to you, Sam, I haven't even started!" As Dean's movements became more violent, Sam grabbed his brother by the shoulders and shook him, trying to wake him up and pin him down so he didn't hurt himself in his flailing.

"DEAN! Wake up!!" Sam shouted as Missouri quickly rose from her chair and held Dean's legs down.

Releasing his control over Dean's body, the demon smirked as Dean panted on all fours trying to catch his breath.

"Hurts like a bitch, doesn't it, Deano? Remind you of anything?"

Having just regained the memory of the cabin a few hours ago, Dean knew exactly what the demon was referring to but refused to voice it.

"What do you want?" he panted out instead.

"Why, to make you suffer my boy. But at the same token, I am here to help you. You are missing about a months worth of memories, are you not? I think I can help with that…"

With a flick of his hand, the demon forced a memory into Dean's fragile mind. He squeezed his eyes shut as he saw his brother talking to a doctor, saw him signing documents, then listened to the whole conversation that he and Sam had together in the motel where Dean was sharpening his favorite knife.

Dean cried out in pain as the images continued to bombard him. He saw three burly men enter the room and take him down, saw Sam watching sadly from the sidelines, not attempting to rescue him from the intruders, and he watched as one of them shoved a needle into him, then everything went black.

When Dean opened his eyes again, he saw the demon laughing at him. "It's so easy, Dean, you have no idea. I don't even have to conjure fake memories to torture you, because you've created plenty real ones that I can use at my will."

Dean refused to let the tears in his eyes from Sam's betrayal fall. Instead, he used his pain to fuel his anger.

Hearing Sam's shout from the other room, Bobby came running to see what was going on. "Shit…" He raced back out to his truck and grabbed a bottle of holy water from his trunk. He knew demon intervention when he saw it.

"Ah… I believe your rescue squad is on their way. If you tell anyone about your new tattoo Dean, make no mistake, I will kill them slowly and in front of you. This is a little secret between you and me. Ta ta for now, my prize."

Bobby raced back into Dean's room and unscrewed the cover on the holy water. "Sam, lift his head up a little. He has to drink this. And it's gonna hurt like a bitch."

"Uh, okay." Awkwardly, Sam readjusted his body from where he was sitting and carefully straddled Dean's stomach, pinning Dean's arms under his legs. Now that Dean was relatively restrained, he had his hands free to gently lift Dean's head up a few inches. Bobby used one hand to open Dean's mouth enough to allow the water to enter between his lips. He poured some into Dean's mouth, which Dean body promptly coughed back out as Dean had been inhaling at that time.

"Damn it!" Bobby yelled in frustration. He watched carefully and waited for Dean to inhale before he tried again, then on the exhale he poured more water in. He quickly closed his mouth and set down the water to free his other hand which he used to massage Dean's throat to force him to swallow. After a few tense moments, Dean did just that.

"Thank God…" Bobby breathed out and nodded to Sam to put his brother's head back down. After about two seconds after he swallowed, Dean's face was screwed up in pain and steam began to escape through his mouth and nose. He bucked trying to escape the pain of the water burning his insides.

Sam and Missouri tightened their grips on Dean, and Bobby moved down to help Missouri keep Dean's legs from throwing Sam to the floor. Sam used his now free hands to reinstate the pressure on Dean's shoulders.

After a few tense minutes, Dean stopped thrashing about and his eyes sprang open. He attempted to sit up fast now registering that there were other people in the room and a lot of pressure against his body, however, Sam continued his pressure until Dean relaxed back against the pillow again breathing heavily.

Dean grunted under Sam's considerable weight. "Dude, get off me." Blushing slightly, Sam did as he was told and took up his seat next to his brother once again. Missouri and Bobby released Dean's legs and came around the bed to see Dean's face.

Sam looked at his brother with worry plastered all over his face. "Dean, what the hell just happened?"

TBC

There! I owed you guys a longer action packed chapter, so I hope you enjoyed it!! I definitely had fun writing it!


	7. A Little Pain, A Little Gain

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

Not getting any response from Dean, Sam tried again slightly louder. "Dean? What the hell just happened?!"

Dean wanted to tell all of them what was going on, but the demon's lasts words were reverberating in his head. _If you tell anyone about your new tattoo Dean, make no mistake, I will kill them slowly and in front of you. This is a little secret between you and me._ He could have been bluffing, but Dean wasn't willing to take that chance.

"It was just a bad dream, Sam. Calm down."

"Like hell it was!" Sam was ready to interrogate his brother until he got the answers he was looking for, but at Dean's pleading look, Bobby decided to interfere for now. He could tell Dean needed time to sort some things out.

"Sam, Dean needs rest. I'm sure he will explain it all in the morning. At this, Bobby gave Dean a pointed look, telling him that that better be the case.

Dean nodded his thanks to Bobby, then curled up on his side, facing away from his company. Bobby left to go back to his room, purposefully leaving the holy water by Dean's bedside. Sam grabbed his duffle and stormed off to the bathroom to get changed for bed. Missouri walked over to the door and paused to take another worried glance at Dean. When she had first sat beside him, she could feel a true evil surrounding the boy. She could have sworn it was coming from Dean's heart itself, but there was no way the boy could have such darkness there. She shook her head and bit her lip, then shut off the boys' light and headed to her own room.

In the dark, Dean lay wide awake. He knew he wasn't going to chance going back to sleep after finding out the demon could reach him in his dreams. As Sam came back out of the bathroom, Dean pretended to be asleep so his brother wouldn't ask him any more questions. Sam knew Dean was faking it because he knew his brother breathed differently when he was truly asleep, but he didn't push the matter. Sooner or later, he would find out what was going on, with or without Dean's help.

The next morning, Dean was the first to rise not being able to sit still with his thoughts any longer and headed out into the kitchen area to get a drink. While he was looking through the fridge, Missouri appeared behind him wearing pink fluffy slippers and a bathrobe. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't hear her approaching.

"Dean, sweetie, I can hear you thinking a mile a minute." Dean spun around almost falling into the fridge.

"Missouri!" Dean exclaimed.

"Sorry, baby. Didn't mean to frighten you. I just sensed that someone was invading my fridge and thought I should come and check it out. Why don't I get a pot of coffee going?"

"Thanks, that sounds good."

As Missouri bustled around her kitchen, she took a long look at Dean. "Hunny, you look dead on your feet. Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Yeah, loads."

"Don't you lie to me, boy."

"I had a lot on my mind."

"I'm sure you did. Care to talk about it?"

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks though."

"You can't keep everything bottled up, Dean. It's not healthy."

"I know, I know. Sammy keeps sayin' the same thing. I just need some time, okay?"

"Alright then. What would you like for breakfast?"

"I'm not really that hungry, Missouri. Don't put yourself out…"

"Pancakes, bacon, and eggs comin' right up." Dean smiled as Missouri's stubbornness, then stood up to help her.

"Boy, park that cute butt of yours back into that seat. I know my way around my kitchen better than anyone, and I'd move much faster without someone else in the way." She knew he had enough to deal with without feeling in debt to her for all the help she was giving him and his brother.

"Yes, ma'am," he said slightly sarcastically as he sat back down.

"That's more like it… and don't call me _ma'am_!" she jested back, lightening the mood.

Soon the smells of the kitchen awoke Bobby and Sam, and they came groggily out of their rooms towards the kitchen.

They both automatically looked at Dean. Sam clapped him gently on the back as a 'good morning' gesture, and Bobby sat across from him, asking, "How're you doin', Dean?"

"I'm fine, Bobby. Really."

"Any chance you can explain to us what happened last night?"

"Bobby, I told you it was just a nightmare."

"Then what's with the smoke effects after we forced holy water down your throat?"

"Well, that explains the sore throat…" Missouri could feel Dean's walls building back up with each retort, so she quickly stepped in before he created a fortress around himself.

"Stop grillin' the poor boy. He had a rough night. Speaking of, how's your head, hun?"

Bobby and Sam were taken aback slightly by this question, forgetting that Dean had been drunk last night because of all the action that had taken place afterwards. Sam shot his brother a sympathetic look.

"Still attached, I'm afraid," Dean replied, rubbing his throbbing temples. Missouri placed a plate of steamy food in front of him. The smell made Dean instantly nauseous. He bolted from the table to the nearest bathroom. The three left in the kitchen heard his painful retching.

"Maybe I should have started him on something a little lighter," Missouri mused. She had known how queasy Dean was feeling, and decided he needed a little help getting whatever was in his system out. The sooner, the better. So maybe her food choices were done a little on purpose…

Sam looked knowingly at her. "Missouri, that's just cruel," he stated with a small smirk crossing his face. Bobby outright chuckled and shook his head at her antics.

"Oh, Sam. You can't tell me you didn't want to do that to him after what he said to you when you got yourself plastered. Something about a greasy pork sandwich in a dirty ash tray?"

"Ugh… that works even if you aren't drunk. I'll go check on him."

When Sam was out of earshot, Missouri sat next to Bobby. "So what do you think, Bobby? Clearly there is something dark plaguing that boy. I can't quite put my finger on it, but you and I both know six shots is not enough to knock him off his feet like that."

"I was thinkin' the same thing. After some grub, I'm gonna head to my place for a few hours ta see if I can find anything." Missouri nodded in approval.

"Dean, y'alright?" Sam drawled.

Dean had one fist curled around his stomach, and his other arm wrapped around the toilet with his head lying against it. "Ugh…" was his only response. Sam walked over and knelt by his brother's side rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"Well you look like shit. I woke up a few times last night to find you counting ceiling tiles. Were you trying to wear yourself out, or trying to keep yourself awake?" Deciding to side-step this particular question, he opted for a statement that he knew would catch his brother's interest.

"Sam, I need to get my memories back." Dean left out the part about his strong reserve stemming from the hope that with his memories intact, the demon would no longer hold sway over him and he could get some much needed rest.

"Dean, man. I know you're frustrated that you can't remember a huge chunk of time, but you have to let it come to you. If you force the memories, you can cause a lot of damage to yourself."

"Damn it, I know that Sam! I wasn't trying to have them before, but I couldn't stop them either!" It was true, Dean wasn't forcing the visions. The demon was. But Dean couldn't tell Sam that in case the demon made good on his threat.

"What are you talking about?"

"I can't control them! They just happen!" Dean shouted without thinking.

"Dean, I haven't seen you have one since that first time, and you haven't said anything since then. I think it's safe to say you had one during your drunken escapade, but if you've had others, why didn't you say anything?"

"Cause I'm trying to make sense of them first!" Dean yelled back, clearly getting annoyed. His rebelling stomach wasn't helping his mood any.

"Well why don't you let me help you?! I can remember most of it, just let me in!"

"Fine Sam! You want to help?! Then explain to me how my own brother can hand me over to become a lab rat!!" He knew that was a low blow, but he wasn't in a charitable mood just then. Plus, he was still pretty pissed and hurt at what the demon showed him last night.

"Christ, Dean we've been over this, man. I've apologized a hundred times."

"How could you do that to me? You just let them take me without having my back?"

"Dean, I was worried about you! You were losing control!"

"Sam! These are _my _issues and I'll deal with them _my _way!" As Dean's stomach clenched again, he leaned back over the toilet and Sam rose to get a cool cloth for his brother, talking over the new bout of sickness taking place behind his back.

"I understand that _now_ Dean, and I wish I had then. No amount of apologizing can make up for that betrayal, but I'm hoping some day we can get passed this." Sam gave Dean his puppy dogs eyes as Dean looked up from the bowl, but Dean refused to fall for them this time.

"You know you almost got us both killed? God, Sam… everything I've done to protect you from him, and you just walked right into his hands! I wouldn't have been able to save you strapped to a table, Sam!!"

"_That's _what this is about? Shit, Dean. It's _my _fault you got tortured. It's _my _fault the demon had you! If you're going to hate me, at least hate me for that!"

"Damn it, Sam, I don't hate you. It's just, dad's last wishes were for me to keep you safe and to look out for you. I promised him I would do everything in my power to do just that, and you willingly tried to hand yourself over! Don't you EVER do something as stupid as offering yourself up to that bastard to protect me again, understand?"

Sam held the cool cloth against Dean's sweaty forehead. Dean leaned slightly into the touch, feeling his muscles starting to relax slightly.

"Dean, I can't promise you that. You're my brother, and I'd do anything for you including making deals with the demon if it will save your life. You know that!"

"For God's sake, Sam!! Listen to me!" Dean slapped Sam's soothing hand and the cloth away in frustration.

"No Dean. You listen!!" Sam grabbed his brother's chin and forced him to make eye contact. "Under that crap the demon gave you, you actually admitted that you had no sense of self-worth! Shit, Dean! How could you have that low self-esteem? You're a great person, man. You save peoples' lives day in and day out, and you never ask for anything in return. You're an amazing big brother and I'm the luckiest guy on Earth to be your sibling. You're good at what you do, and you have people in your life who love you. Now what out of that entire list do you see as not being worthy of life?"

"Sam, don't. Please." Sam could hear the pain in his brother's words and he felt his anger simmering down.

"Dean… please talk to me." Sam felt like Robin Williams in _Good Will Hunting_. His brother was exactly like Will. He kept everything bottled up and hid his true emotions behind a mask of wit and humor. As horrible as it sounded, Sam knew in order to help his brother, he would have to break him and then be there to help pick up the pieces.

Dean stood on shaky legs and turned to walk out the door. Sam quickly rose from his crouched position and ran around him blocking his exit.

"Don't do this, Dean. Just talk to me man."

"Let me go, Sam."

"No."

Dean's anger started to rise again as he tried to hold back all the pain and fear he was feeling.

"Sam! Move, now!" He ordered.

Sam laughed humorlessly. "Dean, I never listened to an order in my life. Why would I start now?"

Dean gave a small laugh/sob at Sam's words and nodded that he agreed to Sam's statement.

Taking advantage of his brother in his weakened state was cruel, but Sam knew there was most likely no other chance he was going to get, so he continued to push.

"Come on, man. What is it that's tearing you apart?"

Bobby was just about to round the corner to tell the boys breakfast was getting cold when he heard Sam ask this question. He froze instantly and waited with bated breath to see if Dean would finally share some of the pain he hid from the world.

TBC

I know, I'm a horrible person! But I'm working on the next chapter right this very moment, so just hang in there a little longer! Is everyone happier now that there was more Sam/Dean angst and that Dean wasn't as forgiving this time around? Keep my posted on your thoughts!! Thanks. And for those of you who liked Jeff, fear not… he will be making a reappearance soon, as will the devilish Saline as Sam and Bobby start investigating what exactly happened that night.


	8. The Dark Mark

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

"I…I can't tell you, Sammy," Dean never sounded so emotionally tortured as far as Sam could remember. It made his own heart ache.

"Why, Dean? Are you afraid of how I'll act or something?"

"No, it's not that. Look, I just can't tell you, okay?"

Bobby chose that moment to intrude on the boys' discussion. "Then can you tell me?"

Slightly taken aback to realize Bobby had been eavesdropping on their conversation, Dean shook his head. "No, Bobby. I can't tell any of you. Not if I want to keep you safe." That was the only hint Dean felt safe divulging. They would just have to accept that as his answer and move on. He side-stepped Sam with the intent of getting a coffee, but Bobby's hand shot out catching him in the chest.

It was only a ploy to stop Dean from skipping out on the discussion. Bobby certainly wasn't expecting Dean to clutch his chest and double over at the slight impact. Sam steadied Dean by grabbing his shoulders. He lowered his face to see in Dean's eyes.

"Dean? What's wrong? What happened?"

"Damn it, Sam… I told you to drop it," Dean hissed through clenched teeth as he waited for the pain from his new tattoo to die down. Realizing he didn't have time for that before Sam and Bobby demanded to take a look at his chest, Dean shoved them both aside and exited the bathroom heading in the direction of his room. Sam and Bobby stared at each other, dumbstruck.

Once he was safely locked in his room, Dean went over to the mirror on the wall and lifted his shirt. The brand was burning red as though someone had just laid a fire poker against his skin. "Damn it…" Dean ground out.

He let his shirt drop quickly as he heard the demon's voice inside his head. _That was a little too close there, Deano. You can't let them see the brand, understand?_

"How…?" Dean drifted off, glancing around the room for the demon.

_I told you, Dean. We're connected now. You don't have to be asleep for me to find you. Only for me to give you your memories back. Staying awake is only hurting yourself._

"Bullshit. How do I know you won't throw all my memories at me at the same time?"

_Why would I want to kill you that fast when I'm enjoying torturing you so much? Think about it, Dean. If I just wanted you dead, I would have finished you off at the asylum._

"Why didn't you? I thought you wanted Sam? You had him right there, and I was defenseless."

_My dear boy, yes I want your brother to join me, but you see, he won't willingly come to me if you're still alive, will he?_

"So you _do_ want me dead?" Dean stated, needing to get something clear.

_In time, son. In time._

"Get the hell out of my head!" Dean screamed in frustration and anger, looking directly into the mirror.

_Hush, now. We don't want the others to hear you, do we? Or would you rather I just kill them all now?_

"NO! Don't you dare…"

_Fine. But remember our little deal, Dean. No one knows I'm here, or I'll take whatever little family you have left. Just like you took my children._

With that statement, the burning of the tattoo stopped and Dean no longer heard the demon's voice. He was gone for now, but Dean knew he'd be back. After all, Dean was his new toy.

"Missouri, we have to do something. Dean's clearly hiding something but someone is forcing him to keep it quiet. After last night's little episode, he's refusing to let himself sleep, he had a reaction to the holy water, and Bobby barely touched him but it looked like he burned him or something. What's happening to him?"

"I'm not sure yet baby, but I plan to find out. We're going to help your brother, whether he likes it or not. Bobby, do you have any books on dark marks? Possibly creatures with the ability to entrance or brand their victims?"

Bobby nodded. "Sure thing. I've got a couple dozen."

"Would you mind heading back to your place to pick them up and then bring them back here? And Sam, why don't you go back to the bar and see if you can get any answers there. That's where it all seems to have started."

Sam and Bobby both nodded and rose at once. Sam turned back when he reached the door. "What are you going to do, Missouri?"

"I'm gonna go see what I can figure out from Dean. If he won't let me in willingly, I have a back up plan as well."

"You won't hurt him, will you?" Sam asked to be sure.

"Sweetie, I would never intentionally hurt either of you. If I forced my way into his mind, it could cause some discomfort and pain, but I won't let it get to that. I have other forms of persuasion so don't you worry yourself. He'll be just fine."

Sam nodded and headed for the Impala.

Missouri stood up from her chair and headed to Dean's room. Speaking quietly to herself, Missouri asked, "Alright, boy. Are you gonna allow me to do this the easy way, or are you gonna make it hard for both of us?"

She knocked hard on his door and waited for a response.

A few seconds later, the door swung open. Dean looked surprised to see Missouri and not Sam standing there. "Boy, quit gapin' and let me in, will ya?"

Dean stepped out of her way and let her enter.

"Thank you. Now, we've got some matters to discuss, hun. Starting with who is this dark presence following you around now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Dean. I can sense its aura around you. I understand it must have threatened you to keep you quiet about it, but if you let me, I can help you get rid of it."

Dean looked slightly tempted to take her up on her offer, but decided he wasn't willing to take the risk. "Sorry, Missouri. I can't let you do that."

"Baby, you've been through a lot recently, but you don't have to go through this alone. Now what happened to your chest?"

"There's nothing wrong with my…"

"Then prove it," Missouri challenged.

"I don't have to prove anything, Missouri," Dean challenged back, crossing his arms over his chest as though he were afraid Missouri could see right through his shirt.

She stood up and stalked over to him and as she advanced, he retreated backwards towards the wall. "I can feel that you have been marked by evil. There's no reason to hide it from me."

"Yeah, actually. There is. Look, I can't do this right now, okay?"

"Dean if you just relax your mind and let me in, I could help you fill in the gaps at a slow pace so that you won't over tax yourself. I can help you get rid of your leech. You just need to let me."

"Missouri, please. I'm not ready for this yet." Dean had no where else to go. Missouri could sense that he felt like a trapped animal and if approached wrong, he could become very dangerous. Dean was not a man to be cornered. On the other hand, if approached correctly, she could also sense that he felt like a lost child who was in severe need of guidance and reassurance.

She attempted to secretly reach out to him psychically, but everywhere she tried to probe, he had blocked her. _This boy is so god damned stubborn_. "Fine then. Maybe later. Would you still like that coffee I made this mornin'?"

Confused by her sudden retreat, Dean stared at her with caution in his eyes as though suspecting a hidden ploy.

Sensing his hesitation, she elaborated. "A peace offering of sorts. I can't force you to talk if you aren't ready."

Dean nodded gratefully, then slowly pushed off the wall and followed Missouri into the kitchen. She filled two mugs, then turned her back to Dean so he couldn't see her next move. "It's a bit cold already, but I will zap them for a few minutes to warm them up."

While Dean was busy studying the kitchen table, Missouri poured a small amount of specially chosen herbs that she had made earlier into one of the mugs. Then she placed it into the microwave.

"So where did Bobby and Sam disappear to?" Dean asked glancing around to make sure they weren't there.

"They had a few errands to run for me, seein' as you all are staying at my house. Returning the favor, if you will."

"Anything I can do?" Dean asked hopefully, trying to get something to do to keep his mind off of everything.

"I'll think about it, but for now you just enjoy your mornin' coffee and relax a bit. You seem very stressed lately." She took the mug out of the microwave and placed it in front of Dean. He picked it up and swirled the coffee around the sides, using it as a minor distraction.

Missouri placed her own mug into the microwave and began warming it as well.

"Baby, you need to rest soon. You're already starting to look like a raccoon. What are you so afraid of?" She took her mug out of the micro when it beeped and took up the seat next to Dean to give him her undivided attention.

To stall for time, Dean took a long sip of his coffee. Missouri smiled softly into her mug, pleased with herself for her little trick. Just then, her phone began to ring, but she opted not to answer it for fear that Dean would use it as an excuse to not answer her question.

He lowered his cup when it was half empty, but remained silent. She prodded him on.

"Well…?"

"Planes. I'm afraid of flying. I had a nightmare about it last night so now I'm afraid to go to sleep. That's my big secret. Happy?"

Missouri pursed her lips in annoyance and concentration. She gently began to force herself into his mind, knowing he would feel her intrusion, but doing her best not to cause him pain.

"What the hell are you doin'?" Dean demanded, sensing Missouri's prodding.

"Just hold still, Dean, and relax. Just because you can't tell us what is wrong, doesn't mean I can't find out using other ways. Let me help you boy." She pushed a little more insistently into his mind.

Dean's hands shot up to his temples as he felt a quick sharp pain. "Ah… Missouri… stop!"

"Don't fight me, hunny. You're just going to make it harder on yourself." Again she tried to break past his barriers.

Dean slammed a fist down onto the table and pressed his other hand against his eyes.

"Relax, baby. Let those walls down."

"Damn it! Stop Missouri! I can't let you in!! He'll kill you!" Dean shouted before he could stop himself. Missouri pulled back surprised.

"Who, Dean? Who has marked you?"

Dean gasped softly as he felt her pull out of his head. "For your own sake, Missouri, stop askin' and leave me alone." Dean made to angrily push himself up from the table but suddenly felt extremely lightheaded. He swayed on the spot and blinked heavily.

Missouri rose from her seat quickly and latched onto Dean's arm. "Come with me, Dean." She began to steer him towards his bedroom.

"I feel funny… Somethin's wrong…"

"Shh… just concentrate on walkin' baby. You'll be okay," Missouri soothed.

"What did you do?" Dean tried to break Missouri's grip on him, but she held on tighter.

"I can't watch you suffer anymore, sweetie. We need to find out what is going on with you, what has been branded on your chest, and you need some sleep."

"NO!!" Missouri jumped slightly at Dean's outburst. This time he did manage to jerk away from her and stumbled back into the opposite wall.

"What's wrong, Dean? I'm just trying to help…"

"I wish people would freakin' stop trying to help me!! It never seems to work out very well!!" His vision began to swim faster and he could feel all his muscles going lax.

Just as Missouri made to move by his side again, the door opened and Bobby walked in arms laden with Missouri's requested books. He dropped them to the floor at the sight of Dean on the ground.

"Dean? What happened?" He rushed over to Dean's other side, sending questioning looks at Missouri.

"Oh, Bobby. I was only trying to help. Something dark has contacted Dean and warned him not to tell us about it. I was just trying to get some helpful answers…"

Dean's back arched off the wall and he grit his teeth in pain. He cried out as both Bobby and Missouri saw a fiery glow coming from Dean's chest and the added heat from it hit them.

"Holy mother of…" Bobby trailed off.

TBC

Hate to leave you all with another cliffy, but the chapter was getting too long!! OH! If anyone is interested, I have also made a few videos on the Winchester boys and their lives that I've posted on There are seven of them. Just run a search for Lind27 if you're interested! I will have the next chapter up soon. Thanks for all your replies so far!!!


	9. Internal Demons

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

Sam strode into the bar looking around for Jeff. He found him cleaning up the bar area and preparing for the nightly customers. When Jeff heard the door close, he glanced up from soaping down the counters.

"Hey, Sam right? How's your brother doing?" Jeff asked, sounding truly concerned.

"He's been better actually. That's why I came here to talk to you Jeff."

"How can I help?" Jeff dropped the rag he was using and walked around the counter, motioning to two bar stools. Sam gratefully sat on one while Jeff took up the other.

"I was wondering if you remembered my brother talking to anyone that night, maybe going into the alley with someone?" Sam questioned hopefully.

"Shit, Sam. There was a lot of people here that night. I'm not sure I can remember…"

"Please just try?" Sam begged.

"Okay, umm… your brother was sitting right where you are. He seemed really depressed so I assumed he was having girl problems like most of my cliental do. I tried to advise him that drinking wasn't going to solve anything, but he just scoffed and ordered another round."

Sam laughed lightly at this. That sounded exactly like Dean. _Bet he was pissed you thought the Casanova was having issues with women…_

"Anyway… uhh… I figured he'd be here most of the night, but this girl walked up to him and he seemed really uncomfortable. I think she spilled something on him. I was at the other side of the bar, so I didn't hear their discussion, but it looked like he was getting ready to leave, but she coaxed him into the alley instead. I didn't want to ruin his party so I didn't follow them, but the alley is a pretty shady place. After about a half hour, I didn't see either of them come back in and I had a load of cans to bring outside, so I stepped out and found him lying on the ground. The girl was gone."

"Do you remember what she looked like?" Sam prodded.

"Uhh… blond, I think. A little shorter than he was and really thin. She was pretty."

"Does she come here a lot?"

"That was the first time I've seen her."

"Okay, well, thanks for everything. I'll leave my cell number, and could you do me a huge favor and call me if you see her again?"

"Yeah, dude. No problem."

Sam rose to leave, but just as he reached the door, Jeff called out. "Oh, Sam, wait!! I remember seeing her a little while before your brother showed up. She was sitting in one of the corner booths with some other guy. I only remember cause I offered to get them drinks but after the first round, they told me to stay away cause they had 'business to attend to'. He had short cropped hair, very average looking, and this is going to sound really weird… but I swear when I forgot his request and went to walk over and ask for refills, he gave me this really pissed look and his eyes… I swear they almost looked like they flared yellow. It was probably just a reflection from the lights or just a vibe I got off the guy, but it was creepy. Needless to say, I didn't bother offering again after that."

Sam's fists had clenched when he heard the yellow-eyed demon was involved yet again. When would his brother ever catch a break? Getting a sudden overwhelming feeling of needing to protect Dean, Sam decided it was time to get back to Missouri's. He thanked Jeff and went to get into the Impala.

When he first sat down and closed his door, Sam paused to process everything Jeff had told him. After a few minutes of trying to make sense of it all, he shook himself mentally and told himself he should be getting back to Dean.

As Sam reached forward to start the Impala, he sensed a presence coming from the passenger seat. Unarmed, he reached for his door hand but found he could no longer move. His head was forcefully turned toward the new arrival and he gaped in shock.

"Hey Sammy Boy, just thought I'd drop in and say hello. Afterall, thanks to your brother's weakness, the cat's gonna be out of the bag very soon. No matter. Just more pain for him, no doubt," the yellow-eyed demon gloated.

"What the hell have you done to my brother?" Sam demanded.

"Why don't you run home and see for yourself?" it teased.

"You're the one that threatened him, aren't you?! The reason he shut everyone out?"

"Took you long enough, and I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. Tell me, how has Deano been sleeping lately?"

"None of your god damned business!"

"Oh, I believe it is. You see, we have a deal worked out where I help him remember what he has lost through his dreams, and I get to watch him suffer as the horrible things you and your father said to him come back to him." The demon smirked with glee.

"You sick bastard! Stay away from him! He'll remember fine on his own. He doesn't need you fucking with his mind!"

"Language, dear boy. I only stopped by to tell you to remind Dean of our agreement, and to tell him I miss him and can't wait to see him in his dreams." With that, the demon vanished. Once Sam was able to move again, he fumbled for his cell phone.

As the pain left Dean's eyes and his body went slack, Bobby caught him and held him protectively to his chest. "Missouri? What the hell just happened?"

"I gave him a few harmless herbs in his coffee to put him to sleep. The poor dear was running on fumes. As for his chest, I think the dark mark just made itself known."

Missouri brushed an apologetic hand down Dean's cheek. Just as she and Bobby were preparing to carry Dean into his room, Dean's cell rang in his jeans pocket.

Bobby slid it out and checked the caller ID. When he realized it was Sam, he flipped it open and hit speaker phone.

"Dean?!" Sam gasped almost pleadingly as soon as the ringing stopped.

"No, Sam. It's Bobby."

"Where's Dean?" Sam's heart rate started to pick up again.

"Well, he's uhh…."

"Don't let Dean fall asleep!" Sam forced out as quickly as he could.

"I'm afraid it's a little too late for that, Sam," Missouri cut in apologetically taking the phone so Bobby could get a better hold on Dean. "What's this all about?"

"Shit! I think he might have been branded by a succubus or a siren. Both could fit the description that Jeff, the bartender, gave me. She put him under her trance to get him to follow her. I think she was working for the demon. I don't know how, but he's attacking Dean through his dreams. That's why he was fighting to stay awake!"

"Oh dear…" Missouri turned to Bobby who shifted Dean slightly to be able to reach the hem of his shirt and gently lifted it. His eyes fell on the recently burnt and scarred flesh.

"Christ. What have you gotten yourself into this time, Dean?" Bobby growled.

"Did you think you could stay awake for ever kiddo?" the demon taunted.

"Thought crossed my mind," Dean scowled back.

"Well it seems both of our plans have been foiled thanks to your interfering friends. Seeing as they have no idea how to remove the mark, I have the feeling you are in for one hell of a night, and I plan to enjoy it. You see, thanks to Missouri, you'll be out for quite a few hours and there's nothing you can do about it but feel. Will you be able to withstand such levels of internal and external pain all at once I wonder?"

"I can handle whatever your pathetic little mind can dish out," Dean said, sounding much more confident than he felt.

"Excellent. I can't have your body quitting on me before I've finished with you. Let's begin, shall we?"

In under ten minutes Sam was storming into Missouri's house, checking every room for his brother. He quickly found everyone crowded around Dean's still form which Missouri and Bobby had managed to get onto the bed. Bobby had also cut away Dean's shirt, so the minute Sam could see his brother, his eyes were instantly drawn to the deep burn mark on his chest.

"What the hell is that?"

"Well Sam, you helped us narrow that down when you called. I had Bobby bring multiple books over concerning dark marks because I had a feeling we were dealing with one but wanted to be sure," Missouri explained.

Bobby picked up a book from Dean's bedside and opened to a marked page. Sam saw a picture of a delicate looking, beautiful blonde girl with bright hazel eyes. A mark depicted just below that photo looked suspiciously like the one on Dean's chest. The top of the page read _Sirens._

"That's gotta be her, Bobby. Does it say how to get rid of the mark, or what it's for?"

"I think we have a pretty good idea on what it's for, Sam. Missouri has this house protected with every charm and spell ever created. It is impenetrable by the Supernatural, unless… one gets help from the inside. You see, the demon himself couldn't touch Dean while he was here, so he had a siren place her mark on him linking the demon to Dean. This one in particular allows the demon to invade Dean's mind and especially his memories while he is asleep. If we can destroy it, we can break the connection."

"Why would a siren help a demon?" Sam questioned.

"I don't have an answer to that for you, Sam. I'm sorry," Bobby responded.

"It's okay, that's not really important right now. We have to get the mark off of Dean. What happened to him? Did he pass out?" Sam had just realized his brother hadn't moved a muscle since his arrival.

"I gave him a strong sedative, Sam. I didn't realize it would do him harm, baby. I'm so sorry. I was just trying to help him. He looked so worn out." A tear fell down Missouri's cheek as her guilt grew even more.

Sam sighed in frustration. "It's not your fault, Missouri. I've tried to help him before too and we all know how that ended. I get why he always keeps things to himself now. Meddling just seems to always put him in harm's way."

"Well, we have no choice but to meddle now. Dean can't protect himself if he's unconscious. The demon is no doubt already probing into his mind, and we've got to break the connection now," Bobby stated.

"How?" Sam asked, looking to their old friend for guidance.

"There's nothing in the book, Sam. All we have to go on is trial and error. That will no doubt cause Dean a great deal of pain, but we've got to try something. Hopefully, we'll find the answer quickly."

Sam bit his lip at the mention of causing Dean pain. He would do anything to keep from having to do just that, but he agreed that they couldn't stand idly by and watch as the demon raped Dean's mind once again.

"Alright. Let's start. The sooner we find an antidote, the better."

"Okay, Sam. Hand me that holy water on Dean's bedside. Missouri, can you get me some dry towels?"

Sam swallowed hard, knowing exactly where Bobby was going with this and remembering how much pain Dean was in last time. But he had to admit, it did seem to work. Dean woke up, and that was all Sam cared about right now. He handed the water to Bobby.

TBC

Guess we'll just have to test Dean's will to live after all, huh? Poor guy… how much more do you think he can take? Keep me posted with your thoughts! Thanks! I'll update ASAP!!


	10. Reaching Out

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

"Bobby? Do you think he'll be able to feel this if he's unconscious?"

"I pray to God not Sam, but I have a feeling with the demon meddling, he'll make sure Dean feels every little touch we attempt."

Threading his fingers through his hair, Sam was starting to lose control. "God… I don't know if I can be a part of this, Bobby. I've caused him so much pain already." He began walking backwards towards the door.

"It's okay, Sam. If you'd rather, wait outside in the kitchen. Missouri and I can handle it."

Sam was tempted by this offer, but a glance to Dean's currently peaceful face and Sam knew he owed it to his brother to stand by his side and watch out for him. Nodding in resolution, he walked around to the other side of the bed and grasped Dean's hand in his own.

"No. I can't leave him, Bobby. Not again."

Bobby winked comfortingly at Sam as Missouri returned with the towels. He placed one on each side of Dean to catch the excess water and put another still folded one across his stomach to keep his jeans dry and for easy reach so Bobby could dry him off when the time came.

"I don't know how he's going to react if he's drugged, but I don't want to take any chances that he'll hurt himself even more. So I need the two of you to hold him down again."

They tried several positions, but they couldn't find one adequate enough to hold Dean down and still give Bobby the room he needed to work.

"This ain't gonna work. We'll have to tie him down." Bobby shot an apologetic look at Sam. Sam winced at the thought, but knew Bobby was right. "That'll leave your hands free to search the books and the internet for whatever remedies you can find, Sam. And Missouri, think you can whip up a few herbal remedies that could help any?"

"I'll see what I can do," Missouri replied as she headed back out into the kitchen. Sam and Bobby tore up an extra sheet that had been at the bottom of Sam's bed to use as binds. As Bobby quickly and carefully secured Dean's ankles to the end bed posts being very wary of the still healing wounds from the asylum, Sam gently raised each of Dean's arms and secured them to the head board.

"I'm so sorry, Dean. I wish there was another way," Sam whispered to his sleeping brother as he ran his fingers through Dean's hair in comfort.

"I think I can handle it from here, Sam," Bobby said gently, feeling bad for interrupting the boys' bonding moment but knowing they were wasting precious time. "Why don't you start the research and see if you can find anything else in case this doesn't work for some reason."

"God, Bobby. I really hope it does."

"Me too, Sam. But it never hurts to have a backup. Now get going."

As Sam stepped out to grab the rest of Bobby's books and his computer, Bobby turned back to Dean and whispered, "I'm sorry, son. But I know you're the strongest kid I've ever met. Your brother needs you now, so don't you dare give up. You fight, Dean. You fight until you make it back to us."

Bobby lifted the holy water above Dean's chest and began to tilt it.

"How much can you really handle, Deano? Cause the fun is about to start."

"When I wake up, I'm gonna send your ass back to hell where you belong!" Dean shouted back.

"Touching sentiment. I can really feel the love… Now… let's start you off with a nice double dose of pain, shall we? Where did we leave off… ah yes…" the demon smiled gleefully. As soon as Bobby began tipping the holy water onto Dean's chest, Dean felt the Demon force himself into his mind. Dean stumbled backwards overcome with pain as his chest burned fiercely and forgotten images flashed in front of his eyes.

He saw the Semi side-swipe them again. He was feeling all the pain he had that same night, and could taste his own blood on his lips. Everything went dark. Next thing he knew he was waking up alone in a hospital bed, no Sammy or dad in sight. He saw his father and Sam fighting about a list his dad had made for summoning a demon. He saw a pretty girl who seemed to be the only one that could hear him, watched himself spell out _REAPER_ to Sam on a Ouija board, listened to her coaxing him to go with her, felt himself almost agreeing, then her eyes turned yellow and she touched his forehead. He woke with tubes down his throat suffocating him. He panicked as Sam shouted for help. Suddenly his dad was talking to him and whispering in his ear that he would have to save Sammy or kill him. He saw his dad dead on the ground, watched as the doctors pronounced his time of death.

Then he flashed forward a few weeks to see himself sitting on the hood of the Impala talking to Sam on the side of the road. He heard himself say, "I'm sorry. For dad. He was your dad too, and it's my fault he's gone. Dad's dead because of me. That much I do know. I never should have come back, Sam. It wasn't natural, and now look what's come of it. I was dead, and I should have stayed dead."

Just as suddenly as they had started, the images stopped leaving Dean on all fours again with tears streaming down his face.

"Oh God…" he whispered, mainly to himself. "It was all my fault… Dad's dead…"

"Yahtzee!" the demon interrupted. "Ain't it nice to have your memory back, Dean? You had a chance to start fresh. A blank slate if you will. Your fragile mind couldn't cope anymore so you deleted the shit you couldn't deal with. Welcome back, kiddo, to your own personal hell."

Dean found himself welcoming the burning feeling emanating from his chest because it helped to block out some of the emotional pain flooding through him.

As Bobby poured the water onto Dean's chest, the reaction was immediate. Dean's face contorted with pain, and his body bucked off the bed, trying to pull his limbs in to curl up and protect himself from the burning sensation. Tears began to leak from his tightly shut eyes.

Bobby paused with the water, placing the canister between his knees and using one hand to wipe away Dean's tears and the other to softly massage Dean's abdomen. "I'm so sorry, kiddo. I know it hurts like hell but you've gotta hang in there for us." Bobby felt his own eyes water feeling like he was torturing his own kid.

Bobby continued his gentle massage while he poured more water over the mark. Dean continued to thrash and when he could no longer stand the pain, he cried out shattering everyone's hearts that could hear him in Missouri's house. Missouri and Sam both came running with hopes that Dean had woken up and been released from the demon's hold.

Bobby took up the rag across Dean's lower abdomen and used it wipe away the fizzing water to see if the mark was gone yet. The skin around the mark was red and irritated, but the mark remained untouched.

"Damn it!" Bobby shouted out in frustration. Missouri placed a hand over her mouth. Sam took up his seat next to Dean again and intertwined his fingers with Dean's. "It's okay, Dean. I'm right here. Breath through it, bro."

Dean seemed to start relaxing instantly at his brother's touch. "Please tell me you found somethin' Sam," Bobby turned pleading eyes to the youngest Winchester.

Sam hung his head. "Nothing I want to try if we don't have to. Missouri?"

"I've got nothing that can fight against something this strong. However, if you would like me to try, I could try to get into Dean's head again so he knows he's not alone in this. I could try to help him through the pain."

Both men nodded at this suggestion and Bobby relinquished his chair to Missouri. "Sam, I have to warn you though, intruding on someone can be very painful if you don't want them there. Even worse if something else refuses your entry, such as the demon."

"Nothing ever comes easy to us, does it?" Sam asked without the slightest sense of humor. Turning to Bobby, Sam said, "I did read from multiple sources that the siren who places the mark on its victim has the power to remove it as well. We just have to find her and somehow convince her to do it."

"Alright, Sam. In the mean time, we've gotta do what we can to support Dean. Missouri, give it a shot."

She nodded and straightened against the chair. She closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. After a few seconds, Dean's head started to toss against the pillow and his grip on Sam's hand became a vice grip. His other hand clenched as well, his nails biting into the flesh of his palm. Bobby quickly strode over to his other hand and peeled his fingers back before letting them wrap around his, protecting his palm.

"Dean, can you hear me sweetheart?" The voice echoed off the walls of Dean's mind. He lifted his face to look around expecting to see Missouri standing nearby.

"Well, well, well… seems like we have an intruder, Dean my boy. But we can fix that…"

Excruciating pain erupted throughout Dean's skull as the demon used its powers to push against Missouri's.

"Ahhhh!!!!!" Dean yelped out and collapsed onto his side before rolling onto his back with his hands pressed firmly over his ears.

"You know Deano, they say if you die in your dreams, your body dies too. Ever hear that one?"

"Gah!! Get out of my head!!!" Dean howled.

"And miss out on all the action? I don't think so. She's almost gone now…"

Missouri opened her eyes to see two pairs staring back at her anxiously.

"Well? What happened?" Sam asked.

"The demon. He's stronger than I imagined. He pushed me out. Your brother's hurtin' something terrible in there. I believe I can get back in, but I don't know how much Dean can take."

"Missouri, you're our only hope for now. Please, just try to let him know I need him to hang on."

"Alright, Sam. I'll try, but then I'm getting right back out before I do any permanent damage."

She closed her eyes and concentrated harder.

"Dean, baby. Listen and listen good. Your brother needs you to hang in there. We all do. We love you, baby, and you need to keep fightin'. Never give up."

Through the pain that had increased exponentially when Missouri forced herself into his mind once again, Dean heard her words and strengthened his resolve. Then she backed out and the pain receded.

"Oh, yes. By all means, Dean. Stick around for more." The demon's eyes glinted with excitement as he watched Dean slowly roll to his stomach and lift himself to his feet. A new fire was ablaze in Dean's eyes. A will to fight, and to survive.

"Bring it on, Asshole."

TBC

Yay!! A will to live!!! But will Sam be able to find Sarine in time, or will the demon destroy his brother from within? Stay tuned to find out… hehehe.


	11. Answered Prayers

Sequel to _Sanity. _Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

"Hey, Bobby. What can you make of that symbol? Have you ever seen it before?"

"I've seen somethin' like it before, Sam, but I believe each creature, just like any artist, puts their own special twist on it. You see, if you look closely, it seems as though this siren has burned the Om sigil in the center, which supposedly symbolizes the four stages of consciousness. Those being awake, sleeping, dreaming, and transcendental. Then around it, we have a two-point up inverted pentagram, and you know as well as I do that that is used to conjure up spirits. It's a symbol of Satan."

"Shit. So old yellow-eyes is using this symbol to attack Dean in his dreams? What about the other three stages of consciousness?"

"Well, in my experience, he could reach Dean then too but it will be more difficult. For instance, he might not be able to access Dean's minds if he is awake, or he can't make Dean see what it wants. I'm not positive, Sam."

Missouri suddenly remembered something. "Uh, Sam? While you and Bobby were out earlier, I went to talk to Dean and I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I believe I heard him talking out loud to someone before I knocked. I assumed he was talking to himself, but it might have been the demon."

"God, he's been hiding it this whole time! Why wouldn't the stubborn jerk just tell us! We could have helped him sooner!!" Sam began to let his anger take over his fear for his brother.

"Calm down, Sam. I'm sure Dean thought he was protecting us, as always. That brother of yours just can't help it sometimes." Bobby shook his head.

"Yeah, and look where it got him. We have to do something, Bobby."

"I know Sam. Look, I understand that you feel the need to stay by Dean's side, but at this point you'd be more help to him looking for that siren that marked him. See if she's willin' to remove it."

Sam opened his mouth to argue back, but once reason took hold he realized Bobby was right.

"Okay, I'll see what I can find. Call me if anything happens, alright?" Sam shot an apologetic look to his still restrained and unconscious brother.

"Will do," Bobby replied.

Missouri sent Bobby an _I know what you're really doin' _face but didn't stop Sam as he walked out and shut the door behind him. Once Sam was gone, she turned to Bobby.

"You only sent that boy out cause you don't want him to see what you're gonna do next, didn't you?"

"I'm gonna do everything in my power to help that boy," Bobby said pointing to Dean's still form, "even if I have to cause him some pain first. Sam's been through enough. He doesn't need to see anything else. Besides, if he can find that thing that cursed Dean, then no more attempts will be necessary."

Missouri pursed her lips but eventually nodded. "You're right, Bobby. I hate to say it, but we don't have much other choice." She eyed him warily. "So what else did you have in mind?"

Before Bobby could answer Dean's body began to convulse.

Dean was assaulted by images of his most recent hunts with Sam. He saw Angela as he pinned her to her coffin, he saw clowns (and even through the terrible pain he couldn't help but to think how much Sammy must have hated that hunt), and the vamps in Red Lodge, Montana. During each of these hunts, he saw himself falling apart, fighting with his brother, enjoying the kill of the hunt. He could see he was scaring his brother, and watching himself from an almost outsider prospective, he was scaring himself as well. He saw himself and Sam at their mom's grave, Sam burying dad's dog tags with her. He hung back, refusing to get within a hundred feet of her grave. The emptiness he was feeling then came back full force and hit Dean in the heart. He cried out and clutched at his chest as his vision returned to him.

He realized he was back on his knees again when all he could see upon opening his eyes were a pair of boots belonging to the demon who was standing a foot in front of him. Dean craned his neck to stare daggers up at the demon who smiled in reply.

The demon knelt next in front of him, grabbed his hair, and pulled his head back further making it difficult for Dean to breath.

"You might as well just stay down here, Deano. Why bother adding more bruises to those knees of yours?" He roughly dropped Dean's head which landed on top of his knees as he tried to get more oxygen into his starved lungs.

Leaning close to Dean's ear, he whispered, "By the way, kudos on becoming what you kill my boy. I've rarely seen so much hate and anger in the souls that reside in hell right now. And the way you killed that vamp… priceless."

Dean cringed at the memory, almost able to feel the vampire's blood as it speckled his face while the saw cut clean through its neck. Dean gagged slightly. How could he have been that unmerciful?

The demon patted him hard on the back and stood back up. "How're you holdin' up there, kiddo? Still got that _bring it on _attitude? Or would you like a break?"

"Ah, bite me," Dean winced. Those simple words cost him both oxygen and strength, both of which were running low.

Bobby and Missouri slowly released their grips on Dean's seizing body once the tremors had stopped. Bobby wiped a hand across his sweating brow.

"Missouri, we've gotta bring him out of this before the demon forces him to remember everything. With Dean's mind bein' so fragile right now, it'd kill him."

"I know that, Bobby. So where do we start?"

"Like Sam said, there are plenty of other ways to break the power of a symbol, but none are pleasant, and not many will make the symbol actually disappear, just disfigure it enough. We could use a hot brand to burn part of the symbol away breaking its curse, we could alter the symbol by cutting with a knife, then there's acid…"

"Bobby! We are not going to torture this poor boy unless we have no other choice. Now do you have anything less destructive?"

"I suppose we could try an exorcism, but to be honest, I really don't think it'll work. Technically, Dean's not possessed. Other than destroying or altering the symbol itself, I don't think there's anythin' else we can do."

"Well we have to do something. We're runnin' out of time."

As they both glanced at Dean, they saw the small trickle of blood coming from his nose.

Sam continued to drive around Lawrence but found no sign of the siren. Frustrated, he pulled into an empty parking lot to collect his thoughts. Feeling sentimental, he threw one of his brother's Metallica tapes in and turned it up. He rested his head back against the head rest and closed his eyes.

_Dean, I need you man. I don't know what to do. I'm scared, and I want my big brother to make everything alright again. What do I do, Dean? God, I need your help…_

Over the loud guitar, Sam's ears picked up a slightly mellower tone. He opened his eyes, sat up fast, quickly turned the volume down, and realized his cell was ringing. _Oh, God… what happened now?_

He tentatively answered it, hoping against hope that his brother hadn't died while he was out wasting gas.

"Hello?"

"Sam?"

"Jeff?! Hey. Umm… look, this really isn't a good time…"

"She's here, dude."

"What?!"

"She walked in a few minutes ago."

"You're sure it's the same girl?"

"Positive, man. She's flying solo tonight though."

"Okay, umm… I'll be there as soon as I can. Thank you so much, man."

"No prob, bro. I'll try to keep her here till you show."

"You're a lifesaver, seriously."

For once in his life, Sam was sure his prayer had been answered. _Hang in there, Dean. I'm coming._

"So what have we learned so far, my boy?" the demon questioned gleefully.

"Never drink something unless you make it yourself?" Dean coughed back.

"Wrong! Why Dean, you're not looking too good. Why don't you lie down for a while?" With a flick of his wrist, Dean's body spun violently a few times in the air until he landed flat on his back a few feet from where he had originally been kneeling.

Dean's head hit the invisible ground with a clunk. He groaned and blinked hard, trying to orient himself. After a few seconds of being stunned, he attempted to pull his elbows underneath him to push himself upright.

In the blink of an eye, the demon was right next to him with a boot against his chest forcing him back onto the ground. "I said, lie down. I thought Sammy called you _a good little soldier_, but perhaps you only listen to that drill sergeant of a father of yours? No worries, dear boy. Daddy misses you too."

With that, the demon glowed so brightly Dean had to shield his eyes. When the light disappeared, he slowly lowered his arm to find his father standing above him.

"Dad?" Dean asked in a shaky voice.

"Lie still, son. Let me look at you." Dean did as his father said while John ghosted his fingers over Dean's body checking for broken bones or hidden wounds. "You alright?" he asked, not finding anything.

"Yeah, Dad. I'm fine. Let me up." John stood up and held out a hand to his son. Dean hesitated for a second before reaching up to grab it. John took his hand and hauled him up, pulling him into an embrace. Dean felt tears running down his cheeks. A weight lifted off his shoulders.

TBC

Working on the next chapter right now. What do you think so far? Anything you'd like to see coming up? I have a few requests already that I'm going to work in, so no worries! Thanks to everyone who has helped me with ideas so far! You all rule!!!


	12. Remedies

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

Bobby and Missouri watched the tears run down Dean's pained face.

"God, what is that thing doing to the poor kid?" Bobby asked not bothering to keep his hatred in check. Missouri used one of the more dry towels to dab the tears away. She used another end of it to soak up the blood from Dean's nose.

Bobby placed a hand against Dean's forehead. "Shit, he's burnin' up again. We need more towels, Missouri, and a bucket of luke-warm water. We can't risk movin' him to the bath tub to cool him down. He's gotta stay restrained in case he has more convulsions. Oh, and do you have a thermometer?" Missouri nodded and went to get the needed materials.

Bobby sat on the edge of the bed. He checked Dean's pulse, then satisfied that it was still strong, he ran his fingers through Dean's hair soothingly. "Dean, you've gotta pull through this for all of us. You're the glue to this family, believe it or not, and though you can be a pain in the ass, we love you, kid. Sammy needs his big brother to watch out for him, and I need your smart ass retorts to keep me sharp. Missouri needs a guinea pig to try her new herb spells on."

Missouri walked in at that moment and jokingly nudged Bobby. "What are you tellin' that boy?"

"To wake his ass up cause the rest of us need some sleep around here." Bobby cleared his throat and stood up, trying to dab at his eyes inconspicuously, but Missouri knew he was getting a little misty eyed. She was too.

"Though I can't get rid of the mark with herbs, I can bring down his fever a bit. I made a few things this mornin' cause he was looking a bit peaky still. Let me go warm them up."

Bobby took the thermometer and placed it in Dean's ear. After a few seconds it beeped announcing Dean's temp was 102.4. Bobby heard Missouri call to him from the kitchen.

"Bobby? Get his jeans off for me."

"What the hell for?" he called back, feeling a little uncomfortable with the suggestion and wishing Sam were here to do it.

She walked into the room carrying a pot containing strong smelling liquid.

"What in God's name is that concoction?" Bobby asked, waving a hand in front of his nose.

"Just an old fever remedy. It's a mixture of lime and olive oil. I could have used red vinegar if that would smell any better. Doubt it though."

Upon realizing that Bobby hadn't attempted to remove Dean's pants, she continued, "For cryin' out loud, if you can't get the boy's pants off, I will. Move." She set down the pan and walked unabashed over to Dean. Bobby stood up and got out of her way. "Untie his legs," she ordered as she loosened his belt.

"Dean's gonna be pissed when he finds out you put that smelly shit all over 'im."

"Let him be pissed. It beats convulsing!" She unfastened his jeans and gently tugged them down, making sure his boxers stayed in place. Once Bobby had his ankles untied, she slid them off the rest of the way.

Bobby quickly tied his ankles back up, not taking any chances. Missouri began humming a tune that Bobby didn't recognize as she wrung out the soaked towel and began running it along Dean's left arm. Her mothering even made Bobby relax and he pulled a second chair over to Dean's bed.

"Bobby, before you get too comfortable, I left a cup on the counter. Can you bring it in for me?"

"Sure thing, Missouri." Bobby left to retrieve it.

Missouri commenced with her humming as she moved around the bed to bath Dean's other arm with her special mixture. Bobby walked in with his nose scrunched up at the smell of the cup's contents. "Please don't tell me we're rubbin' this on him too?"

"Course not Bobby. He has to drink that."

"Shit. I'm glad you're not my mother," he grimaced.

"It's just Tulsi and black pepper for goodness sakes."

"Where do you come up with this stuff?" Bobby asked in disgusted awe.

"It's what I do, now focus. Make sure he drinks it all." She rewet the towel, then moved down to Dean's chest. She was careful around the mark, not sure how it would react to the solution.

Bobby lifted Dean's lolling head gently and placed the cup to his lips. "Sorry, kiddo. Doctor's orders…" He used the lip of the cup to part Dean's lips slightly, then began to slowly pour the solution down Dean's throat.

Missouri moved up across from Bobby leaving her towel on Dean's abdomen. This time, Dean's body continued to only breathe through Dean's nose when it felt the warm fluid entering his mouth so that it did not inhale it again. When half the solution was in Dean's mouth, Missouri closed it for him and pinched his nose, cutting off his oxygen. After a few seconds, Dean's body demanded air and his body was forced to swallow.

They repeated this procedure one more time, emptying the cup into Dean's system. Missouri patted him on the cheek before moving back down to cooling him off. Bobby placed Dean's head back on the pillow whispering another quiet apology before plunging a face cloth into the bucket of luke-warm water and draping it over Dean's forehead.

"Missouri, how long till this shit starts to work?"

"Shouldn't take long, but his fever is gonna keep increasing with that demon messin' with Dean's mind constantly, so we're gonna have to keep on top of it."

Bobby took Dean's temperature again and frowned when the reading was 103.6. Dean moaned softly, a crease appearing above his eyebrows. His body began to shiver and he tossed his head occasionally from side to side.

"We better come up with somethin' else fast," Bobby informed Missouri. She bit her lip worriedly, then continued to wipe down his legs.

"Well, Bobby… if we can't beat the fever, maybe we can misplace it so its no longer a threat to his brain."

"How do you propose we do that."

"I've got one more remedy up my sleeve. After that, I just don't know." She handed the towel to Bobby. "Keep coolin' him down. I'll be back in a minute."

A rough hand gripped the back of Dean's neck as the other tightened around his back, keeping him from backing away.

"It's your fault I'm not here for you any longer son," his "dad" whispered in his ear. Dean began frantically trying to struggle away from him but couldn't get enough leverage to push away.

"I'm dead because of you, Dean. If you weren't so careless and such a smart ass, you wouldn't've needed saving. But no, you had to keep egging the bastard on. Had to push your luck. You should have died, not me. At least I had the balls to kill Sammy if it came to it."

Dean began shaking when his "dad" started accusing him, but he was thrown by the last comment.

With a shaky voice, Dean whispered, "How… how could you…?"

"Come on Dean, I tell you to do one last favor for me, and you disobey? Some soldier you are. Gordon is a better man than you will ever be."

"Gordon…?"

The memory hit Dean like a punch to the gut. His "father's" hold on him increased, keeping him off the floor. He saw how he instantly bonded with this new hunter, how easily a rift was torn between himself and his brother, how he chose Gordon over Sam, how he hit Sam after his brother tried to show him how poor of a choice Gordon was for a father substitute, how Gordon cut Sam right in front of him and he did nothing to stop it, then lastly he saw his discussion with Sam concerning how many things they have killed that didn't deserve killing.

By now, Dean's body and mind were giving up on him. Though he knew his dad wasn't really there, he clung to him for mental and physical support. He needed his dad to be there for him.

Suddenly his support seemed much thinner and fragile. He loosened his grip and stared into the eyes of a beautiful blonde woman.

"Dean, it's going to be okay, baby. I'm here."

"Mom?" Dean choked on the word and once again found his legs could no longer hold his weight.

"Shit! Missouri, we need to do somethin' fast. He's crashing!" Bobby quickly began untying Dean's right arm and ankle to turn him onto his left side. Dean was having a seizure.

Missouri came running in from the kitchen and helped support Dean's weight, balancing him on his side so that if he threw up he wouldn't suffocate on it. Blood was starting to drip from Dean's nose again, as well as from his ears.

"I think his brain might be hemorrhaging," Bobby stated, trying not to panic.

"Try to get a reading on his temp," Missouri commanded. Bobby wiped away the blood from Dean's right ear and took a reading.

"Jesus H. Christ… 105.3. He can't take much higher." Dean's body was sweating profusely, the body's own protection mechanism against fevers kicking into gear. His lips were quivering as his fevered body was subjected to the much cooler air around him.

"Damn it! Where the hell is Sam?" Bobby questioned furiously trying to keep a tight hold on Dean's convulsing body.

Sam parked and ran into the bar looking for the blonde and Jeff. He spotted Jeff first. Using only his eyes, Jeff redirected Sam to the back corner where his gaze fell upon the dangerous beauty.

He walked towards her slowly. He needed to know if she was the one who cursed and branded his brother before he made a move.

"Umm… hi. I was just wondering… uh… can I buy you a drink?" he asked shyly.

"Baby, after that approach, I should be buying you one." Sam blushed crimson and hung his head. "You're cute. Take a seat."

Sam did so and forced a small smile on his face. "So cutie, to what do I owe this pleasure?" she continued.

"Uh, well I'm not from around here. I'm visiting with my brother, and he's been actin' kinda strange lately, so I just needed to get out, you know?"

"Sure, sure. Happens to the best of us. He look anything like you?"

"Nah, he's a bit older, short blondish hair, hazel eyes, always wears a leather jacket…" he stared into her eyes looking for any sign of recognition. "His name's Dean."

"And what's yours, gorgeous?" she purred.

"Uh, Sam."

"Well, Sam, I think I met your brother recently. He's cute too."

"You remember him, huh? Yeah, figures. He tends to find the bars first when we decide to pull over for the night. Hey, he seemed kinda weird when he got home. You don't know what happened to him by any chance, do you?"

"He seemed pretty broody, just like you, Sam. So I took him out back to cheer him up."

"Oh yeah? Then what?"

"Let me show you." Her grin spread even wider as she stood up and grabbed his hand. She led him out the back door. Before they got there, Sam's eyes locked with Jeff's who looked like he was about to intervene and Sam shook his head. Jeff nodded and went back to drying the glass in his hands.

Dean actually felt his head spinning. "Mom? What are you doing here?"

"I've come to protect my baby, like you protected me." She placed her hand on his head and looked down at him kneeling on the ground once again.

"But I didn't protect you, mom. I should have, but I was so scared. I took Sammy and I ran." She grabbed his hair in a tight grip and pulled his head back forcing eye contact, making each word hit home.

"You're right. You left me to die, Dean. How could you do that to your own mother? I loved you, Sweetie. And you let Him have me. Just like your brother's future wife, Jessica. You're no use to anyone." A sharp slap resounded in Dean's head as his mom's opened palm met his cheek.

Fighting back tears, Dean pleaded, "Please, mom. I tried to save Jessica. There was nothing I could do!"

"If you hadn't ruined your brother's normal life, Jessica would still be alive. Sam would be married to her, and they would be living happily. But you're so afraid to be alone." Sorrow and shame filled her eyes, burning into Dean's. "You've failed us all, Dean."

Dean sat back and pulled his knees to his chest, rocking back and forth. Tears streamed down his face as he repeated over and over again _I'm sorry, I'm sorry…_

Bobby and Missouri watched as a bright red hand print began to appear on Dean's cheek.

"Now where in the hell did that come from?" Bobby asked, confusedly.

"God, Bobby… it's true. If you die in your dreams…" Missouri began.

"Your body dies too. I need a drink."

Missouri placed pillows behind Dean's back to keep him on his side as he continued to shake sporadically. "That'll hold him for a minute. Now, let me get my things without interruption this time…" Missouri headed back to the kitchen then returned seconds later with two cloths she had dunked in egg whites and wrapped them around the soles of Dean's feet.

Bobby quirked an eyebrow at her. "Now what in tar nation are you doin' this time?"

"The egg whites will draw Dean's fever down towards his legs and away from his head. It'll be less dangerous this way."

"Huh. And I've thought I've heard it all." Bobby shook his head in amazement at Missouri's seemingly endless knowledge on home remedies. Missouri returned to soaking down Dean's body while he lay on his side as Bobby paced around the room like an expecting soon-to-be-father.

TBC

No joke, I really found all these homemade remedies online. Apparently, they really work if anyone has the guts to try them out! On to the next chapter!! What else does the demon have in store for poor Dean? And how much more can his mind and body take?


	13. You're All I Have Left

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

As soon as Sam and Sarine stepped outside and the door closed behind them, Sam suddenly realized he could no longer move of his own accord. She pushed him up against the wall.

"Oh, Sammy… we could have been great together. But you're a hunter, just like the rest of your family, aren't you?"

"Damn straight," Sam struggled.

"Pity, cause you are quite handsome." She ran a finger down Sam's chest.

"Sorry, not interested. Now what the hell did you do to my brother?" Sam hissed.

"Your brother? Lucky number six? You know, I could make you lucky number seven," she said suggestively.

"What the _hell_ does that mean? He said something about that the night he met you. I knew _somethin'_ was up cause he hates the number six."

"What a shame, and yet it follows him around everywhere doesn't it. A six here, a six there, and another six for good measure." A smile split across her face.

Jeff ran out of the building glancing around for Sam. He distracted Sarine long enough for Sam to break her mental hold on him and grab the concealed gun hidden in the waistband of his jeans.

"Jeff! Get back inside, now!" he barked. Jeff quickly did as he was told.

"Nice move, Sam."

"How do I get that mark off my brother?" He backed her up against the wall instead.

"Is that what all this was about? Why Sammy, I'm hurt."

"Answer the damn question or I'll send you back to hell right now! How do I get rid of it?!"

"You don't, tough guy."

"Wrong answer." He cocked the gun.

"Wait! I said _you_ don't. Dean's the only one who can. He has to fight through the dream and wake up. That's the only way."

"What if he can't?"

"Then he'll die, which was the plan of course."

"Why did you do it?"

"Oh believe me, I would have preferred a night of my own with him. But I owed someone higher up a favor, and he came to collect."

"You're pathetic, you know that?"

"Give my regards to your brother, if he ever wakes up."

With that, Sam pulled the trigger.

"Dean's not breathin' right. He's too dehydrated, Bobby. But we can't keep pouring fluid down his throat. Especially if he's convulsing. He'll either choke on it or won't be able to keep it down."

"What exactly do you think we should do? Give him a rectal suppository?" Bobby only half kidded with one eyebrow raised.

"NO! Of course not! I don't know exactly… I have concoctions that will hydrate him easily, but no safe way of getting them down his throat."

"Well, we tried your herbs, Missouri, but now it's time for some modern medicine." He stood up and strode out to his truck. Missouri gently rubbed Dean's arm.

"Wonder what that man is up to. Hang in there, baby."

Bobby returned with an IV set up, no doubt stolen from a hospital at one time. He set it up next to Dean's bed, then went out to the kitchen to make his own solution, consisting of salt, sugar, and water. Once it was all set up, he looked at Dean.

"Where is that brother of yours?" Bobby said just above a whisper but loud enough for Missouri to hear him.

Right that second, Sam came barging into the house scaring the bejesus out of Bobby and Missouri. Dean didn't respond in the slightest.

"Sam! What took you so long, boy?" Missouri scolded.

"Sorry, I uh, got a little held up."

"What the hell happened? Didja find her?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah. Bad news, though. She said you can't remove the mark unless Dean fights and wakes himself up." At this, Sam walked to his brother's side and saw the state he was in. "God, Dean… I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to leave you that long." Turning back to the other two in the room, Sam asked, "What happened after I left? He looks twenty times worse!"

"He is getting worse, Sam. He's losing the battle. He needs help, but besides trying to keep his temperature down, I'm not sure what else we can do," Missouri stated sadly.

Silence fell over the room for what felt like hours though it was only a few minutes. The only movement came from Dean's shaking body and an occasional quiet whimper from him. Then Sam broke the silence.

"He needs me. I need to get inside his head with him before the demon destroys what's left of him." He turned pleading eyes to Missouri asking for help.

"I don't know if he can handle another intrusion, Sam. And controlling it takes years of practice. Have you ever done this before?"

"No, but we don't have much of a choice. Whatever the demon is forcing Dean to see, it's killing him. He needs guidance, and I don't think he can hear us out here. Please, help me do this."

A thoughtful frown creased Missouri's face while she debated with herself on this decision. "Alright, Sam. We'll try it. First, we have to try to stabilize your brother a little or we'll lose him in the attempt. We've been trying to get his fever down, but it's persistent. Bobby just set up an IV to try to rehydrate him to ease his breathing and no doubt cramping. Any last suggestions?"

"Not off the top of my head. How are you going to keep that IV in with him shaking so bad though?" Sam asked concernedly.

In response, Bobby held up a role of duct tape.

"You can't be serious," Sam stated, a smile spreading across his face despite the seriousness of the situation. He could only imagine his brother's reaction to having an IV duct taped to his arm.

"As serious as the plague," Bobby responded. Between the three of them, they secured Dean's left arm to the bed and Bobby gently eased the needle into his shaking arm, then duct taped it into the inside of his elbow. "That aught to do it," Bobby said pleased with himself. He turned the drip on to its highest level.

Missouri soaked an extra towel in the bucket of now cold water and placed it around the back of Dean's neck. Then she began sponging her mixture onto his skin once again.

"Uh, Missouri? What is that?" Sam asked curiously.

"It's an old remedy to help lower a fever. Just trust me on this one."

"Okay," Sam replied only slightly skeptical. Sam placed the back of his hand against Dean's forehead. "Jesus! Bobby? How high is his temp?"

Bobby took Dean's temperature once again. "106.3," he stated, not at all pleased.

"Oh, God. Bobby, he's not gonna make it."

"Don't talk like that, Sam! Dean'll be fine, like always. He's the toughest kid I know."

Sam refused to let his tears fall. He needed to stay focused. He could fall apart later when Dean was recovering. "We need some bags of ice. If we can't get Dean to a bath, we've gotta bring the bath to Dean." He ran to the kitchen and filled a few Ziploc bags with ice cubes, then returned to his brother's side. He placed them on and around Dean where he could.

Sam almost called 911 when he saw the drying blood trails coming from Dean's nose and ears. Bobby had to fight him for the phone. "What are you gonna say, Sam? That your brother's trapped in his own head with a demon thanks to a branding siren? They'd lock you up and when they couldn't find a cause for your brother's illness, he'd become their lab rat. Now give me the phone, and go sit with your brother."

Sam reluctant did as he was told. He climbed onto the bed behind Dean, removing the pillows that had previously propped him up and let Dean's body rest against his. He wrapped his arm securely around Dean's waist. "Please don't give up on me, Dean. I need you to wake up. I can't do this without you. You're all I have left," he whispered to his brother. Missouri and Bobby pretended not to have heard.

Sam could have sworn his brother's shaking lessened the moment he pulled him close.

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry…_

"Dean, Dean, Dean… what am I going to do with you?" the demon cooed. He strode over to Dean's rocking body and knelt in front of him once again. He reached out and tilted Dean's head back by his chin. Dean stared at the ground determinedly, refusing to make eye contact. "Did I finally break the cocky, bold Dean Winchester? Sammy would be so disappointed. It barely took any effort on my part. I particularly liked my apparition of your father. Good likeness, don't you think?"

The demon released Dean's chin which fell abruptly back to his knees. "Too bad your brother will never know how much you truly cared about him. I hate to be the barer of bad news, but I'm afraid poor little Sammy is dead Dean."

Dean stopped moving. His eyes locked with the demon's. "You're lying."

"I wish it were so. I had such great plans for him. But he tried to save you and in doing so, he got into a tangle with my siren, Saline. She got a little overexcited, and Sammy is no more."

Dean jumped to his feet and advanced on the demon with so much fury in his eyes the demon actually took a step back. "Don't you dare call him that! Only I can call him Sammy!!"

"Could, Dean. You're not catching onto the past tense."

"He's alive, damn it. I can still feel him."

"Ah, brotherly bonds, so strong, yet so useless. All you're feeling is your need for your brother. That doesn't change the fact that he is dead."

"Shut the hell up you bastard!" Dean swung out at the demon who disappeared and appeared behind Dean, grabbing him in a choke-hold.

"That wasn't a very smart idea now, was it, Deano?" he teased.

"Gerroffme!" Dean grunted as he struggled fighting for air.

The demon kicked Dean's knees out from under him, throwing Dean more harshly into the tight hold, then throwing him face first into the ground. Dean tried to rise instantly, but the demon kneeled on his back, twisting his right arm painfully behind his back.

"Ah!" Dean cried out before biting his tongue. He refused to give the demon the pleasure of hearing him scream.

"Does this seem familiar, Deano? You were in this same position not too long ago if I recall… This position too." With that, Dean suddenly found himself strapped to a rickety cot, just as he had been at the asylum.

"No…" Dean hissed out. "This isn't happening damn it! Not again! This is all in my head!!"

"Sorry, kiddo. Doesn't work like that. You think by convincing yourself I'm not real, I'm just going to disappear? Well guess what, all this is in your head as am I, and I can control your thoughts. I won't let you get rid of me."

Dean struggled furiously against the restraints as he watched the demon dressed as a doctor approach him while tapping the air bubbles out of a needle.

"Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!" Dean screamed.

TBC


	14. Confronting Your Own Thoughts and Fears

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

Bobby was the first to notice Dean's wrist and ankle wounds reopen and bruise anew. "Sam…"

Sam sat up from behind his brother and saw the new marks. "He's torturing him again, Bobby. He's making him live through it all over. Missouri, I need to do this now."

Missouri nodded at Sam's determination. "Alright, baby. I'll help guide you. You're already a very powerful person, Sam. You just need to control it. I know you prefer to believe your abilities don't exist, but they do, hun, and right now you need to embrace them."

Sam swallowed audibly and sat up straighter. "Whatever I have to do," he said with conviction.

Missouri walked in front of Bobby who backed out of the way giving them room to work. She placed one palm against the side of Sam's head, and one against the side of Dean's. "Now I'll help you get there, but once you're in, you're on your own. Dean can't handle both of us intruding. If you feel resistance, pull back quickly. We don't want to harm him any more than absolutely necessary. And be careful of the demon, Sam. He may not be physically here, but he's still strong enough to cause a lot of trouble. Now close your eyes and relax."

Missouri and Sam both did this at the same time. Sam wrapped a protective arm around Dean's side, refusing to lose contact. He felt his mind being flooded with old memories of his, mainly of him and his brother and occasionally with their dad.

He saw his mom burning above him, Dean feeding him Lucky Charms for supper before he learned how to cook, their dad teaching him how to shoot and clean their weapons, his first hunt…

And then the visions changed. After a few seconds, he realized they were no longer his, but his brother's. He saw Dean carrying him outside while their house burned, he saw Dean and their dad playing catch with their mom laughing from the front steps, he saw Dean attempting to stitch his own wound from one of his first hunts because he was afraid his dad would think he messed up, and he saw Dean picking up his dad's empty beer bottles while his father slept fitfully, apparently on one of the anniversaries of Mary's death.

Sam felt his hatred for the demon grow as he watched how fast his brother was forced to grow up after their mother was killed. It wasn't fair. Dean should have been playing games, having friends over, taking up sports. Instead, he was forced to learn how to kill, how to fight, and how to tend to his own wounds.

Sam fought past the anger and memories guided on by Missouri until he reached much more recent memories. He realized that these were what the demon had been forcing Dean to see while holding him hostage in his own mind.

He saw that Dean had regained just about everything from the past month, but all of it was in a negative light. The guilt, fear, and pain Sam could sense from these askew memories nearly took his breath away. The demon was guiding the memories. He was forcing Dean to only see what he wanted him to see, and Dean was suffering more for it.

Sam had to find his brother and find him fast. He sensed a presence leaving him and realized that Missouri had pulled back out. He must be getting close. He was on his own now.

He could hear the voices of the demon and Dean not too far off. He followed them until they came into view. This was the weirdest thing Sam had ever experienced. He was inside Dean's mind, but looking around, he saw nothing but red and felt nothing but heartache and pain. Was this what Dean felt all the time? He couldn't understand how his brother could deal with so much and still have the strength to smile and joke around.

His appreciation for his brother increased ten fold. Dean truly was an amazing man. That's when his eyes fell on his restrained and nearly defeated brother. The demon stood above his brother tracing Dean's favorite knife down the inside of Dean's right arm, slicing into the flesh. Not a sound escaped Dean's lips.

"Dean…" Sam gasped.

The demon glanced around, clearly hearing Sam but not being able to see him. "Seems as though we have another intruder, Deano. Sammy boy, I suggest you leave now before I cause some real damage to your brother."

"Don't you touch him again!" Sam screamed, wishing he could grab Dean off the table and protect him. As it was, all he could do was watch and speak.

"Or what? You're going to shout at me? Not all that intimidating, boy," the demon smirked. He began gouging a deeper slice next to his first cut. Dean bit back a groan of pain.

"Stop it! Leave him alone! Dean, listen to me, bro. This is all in your head. The demon is influencing your thoughts, but you're the one in control. You have to fight back!"

"Sammy?" Dean whispered, afraid to believe his own ears. "You're alive?"

"I'm here, Dean. You have to hang in there, okay? We're all waiting for you to wake up. The drugs Missouri gave you have to have worn off by now. You're the one keeping yourself here. You have to let go and wake yourself up!"

"I'm afraid big brother has a little too much on his mind right now, Sammy," the demon interjected.

"Please, bro. I need you back. You have to pull yourself together. That shit he showed you didn't really happen like that… well, it did, but you only got one perspective of it. And he didn't show you everything, just the stuff he knew would break you. You can't let him win, Dean!"

"Sammy…" Dean groaned softly, seemingly only half conscious. He turned his head from side to side, trying to catch a glimpse of his brother but was unable to.

"Touching sentiments as always, boys. But I really think it's time for you to go, Sammy boy."

Sam felt himself floating back through Dean's memories and towards his. The demon was forcing him out. _Nooo!!!!! _ He fought back with all his strength, refusing to leave his brother without a fight.

Missouri almost cried out in shock as she watched the long lines of blood make their way down Dean's still restrained arm, blending with his bloody wrists. She and Bobby saw Sam unconsciously tighten his hold on his brother's waist, and Dean quietly moaned in pain, then murmured, "Sam?" His head tossed slightly from side to side. Missouri smiled elatedly.

"Sam found his way to Dean."

"Did you have any doubts?" Bobby asked, quirking an eyebrow. He grabbed a few first aid supplies from Missouri's bathroom and began patching up Dean's cuts. Missouri placed her hand on Sam's arm that was sprawled across Dean, linking all three of them.

"Hang in there, boys," she whispered. "I know you can make it through this together."

Sam forced his way back to his brother's side, this time paying more attention to Dean's recent memories to know what he was up against. It was surreal watching the past month repeat itself in snippets from Dean's perspective. He saw Dean's first visions of being in the asylum including the one where Sam did nothing to help his brother, the confrontation at the cabin, the accident, the Reaper, a few of their most recent hunts, his arguments concerning Dean's wellbeing, and their mom's grave.

With new determination, he fought to gain purchase in Dean's mind without causing him pain. "I said, leave my brother alone," Sam stated with pure venom in his voice. "You've done enough damage already. Let him go."

The demon laughed and ran his fingers through Dean's hair. "He's mine, Sammy, and there's nothing you can do about it."

"Dean. Pull yourself together, man. You're the only one who can get yourself out of this, but you don't have to do it alone. I'll help you, but you've got to want to make it."

A single tear fell down Dean's cheek as he lay motionless on the table. "I'm tired, Sammy."

"I know, Dean, and when you wake up and break the power of the mark, you can sleep as long as you want, but you have to wake up first…"

"No, Sam. I mean I'm tired. Mentally, physically, spiritually. I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm just… tired."

Sam was starting to get furious. "So… what, Dean? You're just going to give up? Huh? Is that what you're telling me?"

"I… I don't know what to do anymore." Dean's voice cracked. Utter hopelessness was evident in his eyes. "I've failed everyone I ever loved."

"You never failed anyone, Dean. Mom's death was that bastard's fault, not yours. You had no control over that. For Christ's sake, Dean… you were four years old! Dad's death was on him. He made a conscious decision, and you know as well as I do that there is no talking that man out of anything once he's set his mind to it. You've never, EVER, failed me, bro. I need you. You can't give up on me yet. Please, Dean."

The demon waggled a finger annoyingly in the air. "Ah, ah, ah… you don't know the whole story, Sammy. Deano will fail you."

"Shut up," Dean hissed from the table, lifting his head to stare daggers at the demon.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sam asked the demon, curious but annoyed.

"Dean's destined to kill you, Sammy. Isn't that poetic? The hero becomes the killer, just cause daddy asked him to."

"Don't listen to him, Sammy! Demons lie, you know that!" Enraged, Dean sat bolt upright on the table, pulling with all his strength against the restraints.

"Oh, we'll find out soon enough, won't we Dean? You see, big brother's been keeping secrets, Sammy."

Sam turned a questioning look at his brother. "Dean?"

"Now is sooo not the time or place, dude. Please let it drop for now."

"Okay. You're right. Come on, man. Who do you trust, me or the demon?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Dean turned an incredulous look around where he believed he was hearing the voice from.

"Answer the question, Dean!"

"You! Of course you, dumb ass."

"Alright then. Forget everything he showed you. It was a corrupted version of events. I'll help you remember everything properly when we get out of here, but for now, you need to push him out. Concentrate, Dean. This is your playground. He isn't invited."

"NO!" screamed the demon as he felt Dean's mind starting to push against his powers. "Sammy, you are finally in your brother's mind. You can find out what he truly believes about anything you want. His walls are down!" the demon tried to persuade Sam.

"If I want my brother's opinion, I just ask for it. There doesn't need to be deception between us. Come on, Dean! Focus!"

Dean focused his energy on proving to himself that he was in control. Glancing down, he realized the restraints had disappeared. Dean lifted his hands and glanced at them in surprise.

"That's it, Dean! See?! It's all in your head. You need to take control. Push that bastard out of your mind. I know you can do it, Dean!!!"

Dean slowly sat up.

"Dean! Do you really want to return to your world full of so much pain and tragedy? It could end here and now! Just let go. How much longer do you think you can live with all the guilt you carry?"

"I've carried it all my life, I think I can drag it around for a few more years at least," Dean's strength and determination increased.

"It's your fault your father is dead!" the demon screamed at him.

Dean's strength faltered.

"Don't you listen, Dean! I know it hurts, but channeling that anger against yourself isn't going to bring him back or make it hurt any less. I miss him too. We just have to take it one day at a time, and I promise you, the pain will lessen. You don't have to bear all this alone anymore. I don't understand why you ever thought you had to. I'm here for you bro, through and through."

Dean stood up off the table and it disappeared behind from behind him. The demon began to retreat.

"You can't do this you little…!"

"Pain in the ass? Yeah, I can," Dean said with his trademark smirk. "Hey, Sammy, I think I've got it from here. Why don't you give me some time to sort a few things out and tell Missouri and Bobby I'll be seein' them shortly."

"You sure, Dean? Cause I can stay if you…"

"I'm sure, Sam. Don't worry. You're right. I trust you. I don't know why I let him get under my skin, or into my head for that matter… But I promise I'm okay now, thanks to you. So go. I'll be right behind you."

With that, Sam pulled back, flashing through all the memories once again to find himself sitting behind his brother, still clutching him to give him strength. When he looked up, he found Bobby and Missouri staring anxiously down at him.

"He's gonna be okay," Sam said with the first smile he'd shown in days.

TBC

WARNING: MAJOR CHICK FLICK MOMENTS in upcoming chapter. Even Dean knows it, but after everything he's put his brother and friends through, he's willing to allow it… just this once. But don't tell anyone!!


	15. What'd I Miss?

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

Thankfully, just after Sam pulled out of Dean's mind, Dean's body stopped shaking and the mark slowly began to dissolve. Sam, Missouri, and Bobby waited with bated breath for Dean to open his eyes. After a few tense minutes, Dean groaned and started to stir.

Sam got off the bed and gently rolled his brother onto his back. "Dean? Open your eyes, man." Dean's eyes fluttered open slightly unfocused.

"Sammy?" he whispered.

"Yeah, Dean. Welcome back." He gave his brother a big smile.

"Ugh… Sammy… gonna be…" Before he even finishes, Sam is holding a trash can to his brother's face as Dean's body shakes with painful retches. Sam sympathetically rubs circles on his brother's back until the cramping and heaving stops. "Ah, shit…" Dean practically whimpers.

"You alright, son?" Bobby asked, making Dean jump. He didn't notice that Bobby and Missouri were there as well.

"Yeah…"

"I'm fine," the other three supplied sarcastically for him, making him grin. They all start laughing, relieved that the danger seemed to have passed.

"You really had us worried there, kiddo," Bobby said.

Dean stared at Bobby for a few seconds before saying, "Who are you?"

Bobby and Sam exchanged looks of horror.

"I'm joking! Sheesh. How could I forget good old Jake?"

"Dean, it's Bobby," Sam said tentatively.

"Yeah, Bobby. That's what I said." Dean winked at Sam.

"Dude, that's so not cool," Sam scoffed. Bobby lightly whacked Dean in the back of the head.

"Hey! Injured person here!"

"Gonna be injured more very soon wise ass," Bobby threatened. Then his face split into a grin, followed closely by Dean's and Sam's. "Good to have you back, son," Bobby stated then pulled Dean into a bone crushing hug.

Dean returned the hug at first, but when it started to grow awkward, he felt he had to speak up. "Uh… Bobby… can't breath, dude…"

"Oh, sorry…" Bobby grinned sheepishly and stepped out of the way as Missouri threw herself at Dean. Sam saw his face of sheer horror and shock as she wrapped him up in a big hug.

"Baby, I am so sorry! I didn't realize, the drink, and then…"

"Missouri!" Dean cut in, finally finding his voice again. "It's okay, seriously. I'm fine."

"Fine, my ass boy," Missouri said sternly.

"That's a little conceited, but I'm afraid I have to agree on that one," Dean smirked.

"Oh, you. Always with that smart mouth of yours," Missouri smiled and blushed.

Dean went to rub a hand across his tired features when he realized his left side was bound to the bed. Glancing down, he then noticed he was only in his boxers once again.

"Guys, seriously? Is there something I need to know or do you guys just think I'm that hot?"

"Oh, you were pretty hot there, son," Bobby threw in.

"Yikes, okay I expected that from Missouri, maybe, but really Bobby… I never knew…"

"I'm talking about your fever, brat. You were pretty out of it for some time there."

Without any qualms, Bobby strode up to Dean and placed his palm on Dean's forehead. Dean balked.

"Personal space, man…" he complained and tried to weasel away.

"Shut up and hold still. I swear, you were much easier to care for when you were unconscious…" When Dean continued to try to pull away, Bobby threatened, "And I can put you back into that state very easily." Dean instantly went still but showed his disapproval by sulking.

"Seems like you're fever's finally broke," Bobby stated happily.

While giving Bobby his best _not pleased…_ glare, Dean caught a whiff of something. He brought his arm up to his nose and sniffed. "What the hell is that smell?" At Missouri's indignant look, Bobby and Sam cracked up again. "What exactly did I miss?" Dean asked at a complete loss.

"A lot, dude. And you've got plenty to fill us in on too, when you're ready," Sam stated pointedly as he moved in to untie his brother. Dean's jaw dropped open when he saw the white bandages around his left arm and his newly cut wrists and ankles.

Sam sat down next to Dean and gripped Dean's hand in his. Dean was so bewildered that he barely noticed.

"So… it's all true… you really can die if you die in your dreams?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"Especially a dream that a demon decides to sit in on," Bobby added. At that, Dean's gaze slid to his chest where the mark used to be.

Sam gripped Dean's hand tighter and Dean felt himself going red, realizing he was still holding Sam's hand. Sam's eyes were downcast as though he were reliving the pain he saw in his brother's mind just moments ago.

"Bobby, can I see you in the kitchen?" Missouri asked pointedly, giving the boys some alone time to talk.

"Well that was subtle," Dean stated, watching the retreating backs of his friends. He turned back to Sam and was taken aback by the tears dripping down his brother's face.

"Hey, Sammy? What's wrong?" Dean asked dropping the act and turning into big brother mode.

"Nothin', it's just… man, I really thought I was going to lose you this time," Sam choked out.

"Nah, can't get rid of me that easily, kiddo. Now get over here and make this a true chick flick moment," Dean grinned. Sam chucked lightly, then stood up and engulfed his big brother with his long arms.

"Not goin' anywhere, Sammy," Dean whispered in his brother's ear. Sam just clung tighter.

"So… you remember everything now?"

"Yeah… at least I think so. And if not, I probably don't want to remember the rest," Dean said with a humorless grin on his face.

"You know we're gonna have to talk about all this, right? I mean, this isn't something you can just brush off and forget. And you have to tell me what that whole secret thing was about."

"Yeah, I know. I've carried all that guilt around with me for the longest time, but what you said in there… You were right. Most of it was out of my control. I was about ready to give up, Sammy. You saved my life, bro. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Dean. It's not like you don't save my ass ever other day," Sam grinned to lighten the mood, knowing Dean hated chick flick moments. Dean laughed feeling lighter than he had in months.

"Geez, Sam. Ever think of becoming a cheerleader? You're pretty good with all that motivational crap."

"Why not a therapist or psychologist?" Sam asked, knowing he'd probably regret it once he got his answer.

"Cause I think it'd be hysterical to see you with pom-poms," Dean stated giving Sam his best shit-eating grin.

"Haha. You're such a jerk, Dean," Sam smiled.

"Damn straight, bitch."

"So are we okay?"

"We're better than okay, Sammy, but I'm so gonna kick your ass when I can move again for handing me over to that ketchup asshole."

"Fair enough. So, do you think he's really gone for now?"

"The demon? I dunno, Sammy. Definitely not forever, but I think I can rest easy tonight for a change."

"Well that's something at least. But if he does come after you again, I'll be right by your side, kicking ass."

"Ha, says the side kick. I'll be doin' all the heavy work while you strut around in tights changing the bulbs for the bat signal."

"Right… that coming from the guy who can't even get out of bed cause he's probably torn half the muscles in his body from shivering so damn hard."

"Muscles heal, bro. Makes me stronger. Bruised egos never go away though, Scully."

"You would know, invalid."

"Touché."

"So what happens now?"

"Give me a day or two to kick the side effects of hosting a late night show for demons, and we'll get back to hunting."

"Bobby mentioned something about werewolves while you were asleep."

"Werewolves, huh? Yeah… I could dig it."

"You did not just say that."

"Say what?"

"Get some sleep, Dean. The exhaustion has gone to your brain."

"Real mature, Sammy… picking on your sick brother."

"Sick brother needs a shower, badly," Sam stated, scrunching up his nose.

"Be straight with me, Sam… what the hell did she do to me?"

"You really don't want to know, man. Oh, and uh… those aren't socks on your feet."

Dean glanced down again and saw the cloths that had been soaked in egg whites. "Saaaammmm!!! What the hell is that?!"

"Night, Dean!" Sam said, sprinting out into the kitchen. God he missed times like these…

The End

Thank you all who stuck with me this far- especially Winchester494, DeanBeanWinchester, and JoyofReading. You guys are great! Thanks for the ideas and encouragement!! I think I'm done writing for now, but if anyone has ideas they'd like me to attempt, even if just short one chapter stories, please feel free to suggest them!!!


	16. Epilogue

Sequel to _Sanity. _ Spoilers for episodes 1.01-2.04.

Rated M for language

Summary: After Dean's electro-shock therapy, he is experiencing memory loss, but his ordeal begins to come back to him in the form of visions. With THE demon still hot on their tails and plaguing Dean's dreams, the boys do what they can to fight back.

Disclaimer: I do not own Sam, Dean, or anything Supernatural related, but the story is mine. Enjoy!!

The sequel of _Sanity._ It picks up right where I left off, and rest assured there will be plenty of brotherly angst, bonding, and torture! Keep me posted on what you would like to see in upcoming chapters!!

For those of you that wanted it, here's your epilogue, as well as your _Good Will Hunting _moment. Enjoy!!

After a week's worth of forced down time and Missouri's disgusting herbal remedies, Dean was going stir crazy. The full body ache was mostly gone and Dean was itching to get back to a hunt.

He just had to convince his over protective little brother that he was ready. Speaking of…

Sam walked into their room just as Dean pulled a clean shirt over his head. He had just gotten out of the shower and was feeling refreshed and ready to hit the road.

"Hey, Dean. How're you feelin' today?" Sam asked cheerfully.

"Fantastic, Sam. Did you pack your stuff yet?"

"Huh? What are you talking about, Dean?"

"Dude, I can't take it anymore. The babying, being forced to stay in bed, drinking that crap Missouri calls a drink… I need to get back to my baby, Sam. The road is callin' me."

"You really think you're ready to go back to all that? Man, you almost died a few days ago…"

"A week ago, Sam. And yes, I'm totally ready. Have been for a while, just didn't know how to tell Bobby and Missouri we gotta go." At this Dean bowed his head. He was trying to hide the sadness of those words from Sam, but the more he tried to hide it, the easier it was for Sam to read him.

"Dean, we don't have to leave just yet. Take a few more days." Dean quickly threw his walls back up.

"We've over-stayed our welcome, Sam. Missouri probably wants her peace and quiet and privacy again. I'm good to go, and the hunts are stackin' up. Pack your things."

Sam grumbled something under his breath that made Dean smirk slightly then began moving around the room to pack.

"Hey boys…" Bobby began as he approached the boys' door. He froze in the doorway watching them pack. "Heading out already?" he said, slightly disappointed.

"Places to go, things to kill, Bobby," Dean stated smiling at his second father.

"Huh. Guess that's the way it goes. Thought you'd at least be here for lunch, though." Bobby turned to Sam, throwing him a look that plainly said talk some sense into your brother and stay a little longer. Sam could only shrug.

"Sorry, Bobby. I've tried for years, but I can't talk any sense into his thick skull."

"Hey!" Dean grumbled indignantly.

Missouri walked up to Bobby's side and glanced into the room. "What's all this ruckus about?"

"Boys are leavin'," Bobby stated.

"So soon? Why?"

"We've inconvenienced you both long enough. Thanks for everything guys, but we really need to get back to work," Dean said almost defensively.

Missouri nodded, gaining insight that Bobby and Sam were missing. "Dean, baby… can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

Bobby and Sam looked questioningly between the two of them and Dean looked slightly taken aback. "Yeah, sure."

Bobby and Sam moved into the kitchen and Missouri entered the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Even with her back turned, she could feel Dean's walls fortifying his emotions and thoughts.

"Hunny," she started, turning to face him, "I understand what this is about. You've allowed yourself to think of this place as a home for you and Sam, and it scares you. You want to leave before you become too attached and want to stay, am I right."

Dean didn't say a word, just let his eyes fall to the ground, refusing to move them away from the small chip in the floor at his feet.

Missouri continued, "Dean, this will always be a home to you and your brother. Feel free to stop by whenever you're in the area. I'll keep these rooms free for you, just in case." She smiled warmly.

She took a step towards him and he subtly retreated without lifting his eyes. He built an exterior wall for himself by folding his arms in front of his chest defiantly.

"Baby, I'm not going to try to force my way into your thoughts ever again. I was wrong to intrude like I did, and I'm so very sorry for it. I was only trying to help. But I understand why you feel the need to keep yourself hidden behind walls. You shouldn't ever have to, but you've done it all your life. You feel safer that way. At some point though, you should let someone in. You're going to kill yourself if you don't lean on someone once in a while and choose to bottle everythin' up. It's not healthy, child."

She took another step towards him and he stayed rooted to the spot. She saw this as an encouraging gesture. _At least he's not still backing away_. She continued to slowly advance towards him trying her best not to spook him. Missouri could tell she was starting to chip away some of the barriers with her words.

"I know you're still hurting, hun…"

"I'm fine." Dean finally lifted his eyes from the floor and locked them with Missouri's.

"You're no where near fine, so don't lie to me," Missouri scolded.

"I thought you weren't…!" Dean started angrily backing up again into the wall behind him.

"I don't need to read your thoughts to know when you're lying, boy!" Missouri retorted. Dean's eyes fell again as he leaned against the wall for support. "You are doing much better physically, though I'm sure your muscles still twinge a bit… but mentally, baby you're falling apart. Whatever that demon did or said to you, you've gotta come to terms with it. I'm glad you have your memory back, but I wish it didn't come with such a heavy price. You carry such a burden, Dean Winchester, and it never should have been yours to bear."

"I can handle it, Missouri. Now, thank you for everything you've done for my brother and me during our stay, but we've really gotta hit the road. Evil doesn't take vacations." He pushed off the wall and tried to skirt around her, but she grabbed his arm and pulled him to her. He tried to shrug off her initial grip, then when she wrapped her arms around him tightly, he began to struggle in earnest.

"None of that was your fault, Dean. And neither will whatever comes of it. You didn't ask for it, and you certainly didn't deserve having your private thoughts invaded by me or the demon. You don't always have to be the strong one, you know. Sam is a tough cookie too. He can handle it if you just open up a little."

Dean tried to push away from her as he felt tears prickling the corners of his eyes. "You don't understand…"

"What, boy? What don't I understand? The fact that you feel you need to keep on a poker face for your brother? The fact that you feel you're older and therefore can't show weakness even at the worst of times? You're only human, baby. You need to come to terms with that."

"If I hadn't gone… if I had fought harder…" Dean tried twice, but his voice caught in his throat each time.

"It. Was. Not. Your. Fault." She made sure to enforce each word as she spoke them clearly in Dean's ear. His struggles increased, but she refused to let go. Her strong muscles prevented him from gaining enough momentum to break her grip.

"I just followed her out into the back alley! What the hell was wrong with me?! I let her brand me, and I let the demon get into my mind. I did exactly what he wanted me to." Tears began to flow down Dean's face as the embarrassment and pain of the events washed over him.

"She had you in a trance. And you only did what the demon asked because you were protecting the ones you love. There is no shame in that." She could feel him shaking in her grasp, but he was no longer trying to pull free. "You are the strongest boy I know, Dean. You're daddy raised you that way. But I never believed he raised you right. It is because of him that you feel the need to never show emotion, but you know what? It's your life, baby, and you can do what you need to."

At the mention of his dad, Dean's body went rigid in her arms, preparing himself to defend his father at all costs. He went to do exactly that when Missouri cut in.

"And he's the one who raised you like a soldier, always needing to defend your captain. He was only human, too, and I know he did what he thought was best, but that doesn't mean he did it all right. I'm not trying to attack your hero, Dean, I'm just sayin' there's no need for you to build so many walls that even you can't climb over them all. You have people in your life who love you, child, and we're all here for you whenever you need to let out what you've kept hidden for so long. You just remember that."

Finally, Dean relented. He hugged Missouri back like he would have his own mother. He finally felt safe… like he belonged somewhere. Missouri's words penetrated his walls and he took them to heart. She finally released him, feeling like she had done her part in healing him. The rest was up to him.

He wiped his eyes harshly trying to compose himself. Missouri patted his arm and gave him a caring smile, then headed for the door. "Don't be too long now, your brother will be wondering what we've been up to all this time."

He smirked at millions of sassy retorts filled his head but he decided to keep them to himself and not ruin the moment. He finished packing what was left of their stuff, then headed out to find Sam and Bobby.

He found them sitting at the kitchen table eating cookies that Missouri had baked that morning. To Dean, the smell of home baked cookies was the best scent there was. He could remember when his mom used to make them for him and his dad. It was the smell of home. He vowed to himself that he would visit and sooner rather than later.

After stealing a few cookies for himself, the boys loaded up the car with Bobby's help. Sam gave Bobby and Missouri passionate hugs and thanked them for everything. Dean hung back by the car. Missouri gave him a scolding glare.

"Boy, if you think you can just waltz on out of here without giving me a hug, you've got another thing comin'!" With a slight blush and a small smile playing across his lips, he strode over and gave Missouri a hug. "That's better."

Dean turned to Bobby and stuck out a hand waiting for Bobby to shake it. Bobby returned the gesture, then pulled Dean's arm towards him and engulfed him in a big hug. Dean was startled at first, but quickly recovered and hugged the man back. Bobby patted him on the back before letting him go and clearing his throat.

"So where're you boys headed?" Bobby asked.

"Heard there was a doppelganger in Seekonk, Mass. Thought we'd check it out."

"Haha. Good luck finding Seekonk, let alone the shape shifter," Bobby chuckled.

"I know, right?" Dean joked lightheartedly.

"You boys behave now, you here? And don't forget where I live. I'm expecting you back before the end of the year."

"You can count on it, Missouri," Sam promised.

With that, the boys climbed into the Impala.

"Oh baby… I missed you so much," Dean purred, lightly stroking the dashboard.

"Do you two need some time alone? Cause I can head back in for a while…" Sam teased.

"Don't listen to him, beautiful. He just doesn't get it."

Dean peeled out kicking up dust as he blasted BOC. Bobby and Missouri watched until the Impala was out of sight. Bobby sighed, wondering if he should head out too. Missouri broke his train of thought.

"Got another batch of cookies I hid from the boys if you want to stick around a little longer, Bobby."

Smiling gratefully, not ready to head back to his empty home just yet, Bobby put his arm around Missouri and together they headed back into her house. "That sounds perfect."

Okay… not it's REALLY over. Hahaha. Thank you all again for sticking with me, and I'll try to get some more stuff up before I head back to school. Like I said, if you have any ideas you'd like me to attempt, just let me know!! Hope this epilogue was enough to sustain you all and tied everything up.


	17. Author's Note

Author's Note

Hey everyone, thanks for reading my stories and I hope you enjoy them! I was thinking about maybe making it a trilogy and going into Sam and Dean's hunt for the werewolf, but I want your opinion on it.

Should there be whumpage? If so, for which brother? Should I bring Missouri and Bobby back again, or leave it with just the two boys? And lastly, should the Demon make another attempt, or should I move on to bigger and oh so better things?

Let me know what you think, please!! If anyone is interested, I'll get started as soon as I can. If not, please let me know any other ideas you would like to see! I'm a huge Dean fan, so my stories are mainly about him.

That's all for now! Thanks again!!!


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